Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Friends
i was told having just friends are not enough
there's a need to go deeper than that
having a closer friend
but not a future spouse
but what is meant by a friend?
being together?
spending time talking?
eating lunch together?
i've lost the meaning
i've lost what is called being a friend
those of you who claim to have best friends
what do you all do?
what do you all share about?
do you talk about everything under the sun?
even your deepest secrets?
how did you manage to trust?
why did you take the chance to believe?
cause i don't
not anymore
i've lost the significance of true friendship
i don't even feel the need to have a close friend
although sometimes it does feels lonely
when you need someone but there's no one
but still, i've lost
what is being and having a best friend
life seems so much better without it
no fear of betrayal
no fear of loss
nothing to worry about
i don't like to lose someone who's important to me
and i don't want to lose that someone-to-be again
that's why i'm not building any close friendship
i'm sorry
for the time being
i still can't do it
LyDiA[Tuesday, May 31, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Pr0mise
what is meant by the word promise?
looking at the word itself make no sense
is it keepable?
is it breakable?
i guess so
promises are so easily made and said in relationships
-i promise i'll love you and only you forever-
but is it gonna be true?
or will it be just another lie?
i've heard of so many promises made by people
very few are fulfilled
most are broken
others left alone
not long ago
Someone made a promise to me
He told me He's gonna love me forever
should i believe Him?
will He really love me till the end of time?
will He still love me if i'm different?
endess doubts
due to past unkept promises
but i chose to believe once again
wholeheartedly
and i made a promise too
to love Him till the end of time
will this promise come to an end?
LyDiA[Tuesday, May 31, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Saturday, May 28, 2005
ThOuGHtS
when i'm all alone
i will think of you
are you alone too?
when i'm in school
i will think of you
are you having lessons too?
when i'm having lunch
i will think of you
did you skip your lunch again?
when i'm doing my homework
i will think of you
are you studying too?
when i'm day dreaming
i will think of you
who are you thinking of?
when i'm sleeping
i will think of you
will i dream of you tonight?
but will you ever think of me?
ehco-thots
LyDiA[Saturday, May 28, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
midst of darkness
the glow of the stars seemed dimmer
the warmth of the sun seemed colder
where are you?
where are you?
the last thing i remembered was
you walked away from me
the road was hazy and
your shadow was all i could see
i called out your name
there was no response
i called out again
but you were gone
i ran towards the direction you went
i found no one
i reach out my hand
but you were gone
you told me you won't leave me
you broke your promise
you told me you won't go
you broke your promise
you left me in the midst of darkness
alone
middle of nowhere
alone
alone...
where were you when i needed you most
where were you when i needed you most
where were you?
where were you?
LyDiA[Tuesday, May 24, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Monday, May 23, 2005
FAITH
i see the devil giggling at a corner
i can hear his evil laughter
are we gonna give in just like that
i don't want it to be that way
wake up
open yours eyes big
see what's going on
don't let the devil overtake your heart
he's cheating on you
he's causing the unbelieves in you
bind him in Jesus name
you should know what to do
DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?
i don't know what's happening
i don't know how long it's gonna take
you seem to be falling
falling slowly
what should i do?
what can i do?
i wanna help
but are you willing to recieve?
you seem not
it takes two hands to clap
what can i do
if you aren't willing to give me your hand
now that things seems so impossible
i believe it's where FAITH steps in
i wanna believe in God for a miracle
i wanna believe in God for a breakthrough
what is FAITH
FAITH is the substance of things hoped for
the evidence of things unseen
i hope for a miracle
i hope for a breakthrough
i hope for you to come back
i hope for you to be the you i use to know
i don't want to see someone precious to me get shattered
nor do i want to see you die
i wanna grow with you
i wanna be with you
don't give up in this christian walk
it might be tough
it might be rough
but perservere on
God might be last minute
but He is never late
don't give up on yourself
most importantly
DON'T GIVE UP ON GOD
i did not give up on you
so please don't
when people around you have hopes in you
don't crush it
you'll end up hurting that person
ech0-wake up
LyDiA[Monday, May 23, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
One Boy One Girl
He finally gave in to his friend's girlfriend
When she said, "there's someone you should meet"
At a crowded restaurant way cross town
He waited impatiently
When she walked in their eyes met
And they both stared
And right there and then everyone else disappeared but
Chorus:
One boy, one girl, two hearts beating wildly
To put it mildly it was love at first sight
He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away
This was the day they'd waited for all their lives
And for a moment the whole world revolved
Around one boy and one girl
In no time at all they were standing there
In the front of a little church
In front of their friends and family
Repeating those sacred words
Preacher said, "son kiss your bride"
And he raised her veil
Like the night they met time just stood still
Repeat chorus
He was holding her hand when the doctor looked up and grinned
"congratulations, twins"
Repeat chorus
echo-boy girl
LyDiA[Tuesday, May 17, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Sunday, May 15, 2005
feeling kinda like...
it's been a long time since i wrote a blog this way. in a form of a story. right. this few days. have been feeling really stressed. looking at my time table. i realised i've got too many things up my sleeve. way too much. the dates seems to be clashing. and i'm afraid that i won't be able to cope with both school and church stuff. it's pretty true. ever since i'm in church. it's been taking up alot of time. of cos. a day in church is better then being anywhere else. but still. there need to be limit. my parents are non-christian. they get angry with the amount of time i'm spending in church. anyway. this is not my main problem.
my main problem. i really don't know what to do now. how should i organise my time? so that i will be able to do everything. having enough time for what needs to be done. not too much of this and too less for the other. i really don't know. now my time seems to be used up so rapidly. and days are flashing pass right in front of my eyes. my A-levels is only like 163 days away. and i have yet to do my revision. there seems practically no time at all now. and i'm getting nervous. i don't wanna fail this major exam. it's gonna determine my future. i know i can do all things through Christ who will strengthen me. but if nothing is done, nothing is gonna work. extra time don't fall from Heaven. intelligence don't fall from Heaven unto me too. what should i do?
besides, now for emerge conference. i seemed to be involve in so many events. word power. preaching challenge. extreme adventure. talentime. what should i do? my school lessons end late. and i literally seems to have no time to rest.
but i don't wanna let other people down. i wanna be able to perform my best. i wanna be able to succeed in what i've started to do. i don't wanna give up. i don't wanna let go. i wanna perservere on. i wanna be determined. i wanna be... there are so many wanna bes. i have my own expectations to fulfil. i have other's expectations to fulfil too. i don't wanna disappoint any. but i'm tired.
now i'm feeling so lost. so agitated. so frustrated of not being able to do what i'm suppose to do. it's nothing difficult. and i'm not able to do it. and that sucks. really sucks to the bottom of the pit.
i wanna be this and i wanna be that. a never ending list. a simple thing that needs to be done and i ain't able to accomplish it. what's more need to be said? nothing.
there are so many things i wanna do. but i ain't putting in the effort. it seems like everytime i try. it always fail. i know failure is the mother of success and people learn from failures. but i don wanna fail. i've been failing in practically anything that i tried doing. be it studies? or some other things. idiotically they never succeed. and i think too much. it might be a strength. but i believe it's a weakness for me.
now i don't even know how to put those thoughts in my mind in words. there are so many things scrambled up in my head that never stops swirling since the day i got messed up. forget it.
i really need some serious time management. let me show you the dates of events i'm having.
16th May 2005
-school ends at 7pm
-barbeque with sec sch friends
17th May 2005
-school ends at 7pm
-chemistry tuition after school from 7.30pm-9.45pm
-briefing session for extreme adventure at 7pm*
18th May 2005
-Science Practical Assessment A from 2pm-3pm (A-level)
-talentime audition at 5pm in church, meeting members at 4pm*
19th May 2005
-Chemistry Lecture test from 6pm-7pm
-Preaching Challenge Preliminary Round from 3pm-8pm*
this is for this coming week. i wonder how.
LyDiA[Sunday, May 15, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
two eggs____one relationship
this is something that i never thought would come to my mind
maybe i'm the worst "think too much" girl you can find
but here goes the story of two eggs
explaining a relationship that i want it to be
out of thousands over eggs
two met each other
they are from different brands
but they still met
one day
He decided to break their shell
the white came leaking out
bit by bit
it emptied
as time goes by
the golden yolk follows
until everything's out of the shell
into the same huge bowl
two nice eggs that are unbeaten
with their yolks still separated
with the white surrounding it
still not merging
He took a spoon
started to stir
guess what
the yolk broke
right infront of His eyes
the yolk mix together
they became one
and can never be separated again
just like a relationship
out of so many people
two met each other
they came from two different world
but they still met
one day
they became friends
they start to share about their lives
bit by bit
more were revealed
as time goes by
even deepest secret was shared
they began to really understand each other
standing on the same ground
this sparked off a relationship
they held hands
got closer
but still
they are an individual
after a long enough time
marriage was on their mind
they came together
face to face
a marriage vow was made
right infront of God's eyes
they got married
He saw His creations became one
He smiled, i smiled
ech0-beautiful
LyDiA[Tuesday, May 10, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
a dream
there was a night
i dreamt about you
to be able to be with you again
long time ago, we broke into a fight
now, how do you do
i suddenly missed you like never before
how i wish i could just forget them all
the unforgettable memories that never fails to haunt me
the memorable times we spent since we were three
when are you taking this pain away
it has been bothering me since that day
do you know how much it hurts this way
is this the price i have to pay
you once said you love me
that was what i once was told
you once said you miss me
that was what i once was told
i want to hear them again
i want to hear them again
say them once more
just like before
now my heart is longing for you
i really want my dream to come true
i don't know how much i need to do
but i know, i fear losing you
come back to me, to my side
although your love for me might have died
we can try again, to reignite
let's just put away, all our pride
i really want to have you back
what is it that i lack
i never want to make you sad
please tell me, how can i have you back
ech0-ack
LyDiA[Tuesday, May 03, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Jesus, You are...
Jesus, You're my One and Only God
Jesus, there's no other i adore
Oh Jesus, how i want to know You more
come into my heart, and tell me all
Jesus, You're my Saviour and my Friend
Jesus, i know this won't come to an end
Oh Jesus, let me hold on to Your hand
For You are my sheperd and i am the lamb
Jesus, You're the greatest King of all
Jesus, i give my life as i am called
Oh Jesus, i know You'll never let me fall
upon me, let Your presence pour
Jesus, You're the Way the Truth the Life
Jesus, with You my life have been revived
Oh Jesus, now my life is not deprived
it was You, that now i can survive
Jesus, You're a strong and shining light
Jesus, let me shine like You so bright
Oh Jesus, won't You be my guide
let my light, shine with all its might
Jesus, You're my everything
Jesus, You're more than life could ever bring
Oh Jesus, i have been redeem
praises to You my heart would sing
ehc0-Jesus
LyDiA[Sunday, May 01, 2005]
[___nO oNe oWns U, BuT me___]]**
[[*Trapped Soul*]]
Name:Chin Kegan
First Cry:23rd maY 1993
Sch00l:Kranji Secondary School
E-mail:kegan93@hotmail.com
[[*My Adores*]]
Stuffs: I lOvE BeArs
Pastimes:DaYdReAmIng
People: God!!! FaMiLy aND FrIendS!!! StRiKEfORcE!!!
[[*My Detests*]]
People: LiErS AnD BaCkStABBErs
Things: INSeCts!!!
[[*Things I Want*]]
SKIN long sleeve white top-$387
RIPCURL black long sleeve top-$69
heels from TANGS+CO-$199
GUESS belt-$99.90
ED HARDY cap-$149
LEVI'S skirt-$99.90
CONVERSE sneakers-$69
HARLEY DAVIDSON belt
*[[____ taggiee ((: `-//*