Down To Earth

updating

2006-06-30T14:12:00.000+08:00

well. it's been a long time since i updated my blog. i'm doing fine. accept that i ain't able to get into the school i wanted to. but fret not. i've decided to go to SIM. so yea. i've got a school to go to. hopefully they'll accept me. if not i'm dead and schooless. have been working alot. physically straining. tiring.

in a few weeks time and i'll be going to taiwan emerge. can't wait. kinda excited about it too. it'll be from 12th July to 17th July. gonna buy lotsa stuff home from dfs. haha. mainly perfumes ba.

for those in strikeforce and wondering where i am and stuff. i'm taking a break from strikeforce to concentrate on certain things first. i'll be back after a few weeks time. miss you guys. can't wait to see you all again :]

in a relationship. issit really that hard to trust each other. sometimes. if you know the past of the person. it's kinda hard to really forget what happen. especially when you've seen and heard it yourself. worse if you can really feel it. but well. a relationship never works without trust right? doubting and doubting. coming up with all sorts of funny reasons that he's playing around. when are this gonna stop? now?

i've waited too long to give you up
i've waited too long to let go
i love you
and i really mean it
i may seemed distance at times
but in my heart you know
i do

love-bliss or miss

2006-05-05T01:08:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i last updated. here's an update on what's going on. have been working almost everyday last month. gonna stop soon. getting tired. worn out soon. went plasma two days ago and drank quite a fair bit. played dice and 5-10. after which went k-box. vera is a fantastic singer. simply in love with her voice. it's WOW.

anyway. liking someone is always a chore. i dunno why. it's never successful. hate it. yet somethng i can't live without. something that i long for. no matter it's emotionally or physically. love can be a bliss. yet a murderous killer to the heart. u either survive or u die. most of the time people get hurt. somewhere in between. not to such extreme. but accumulative hurts end up leaving ugly and unwanted scars.

both parties play a part relationships. but why does people take advantage? i'm a girl. i'll never understand guys. are there anything that guys do just for fun? or just because it's a spur of the moment? or is there more to it? testing water? flirting? why are people born with such nature? do people like them know what is call hurt? i really don't understand how come their actions contradicts with the things they say. it's idiotic. maybe the girl, i , am stupid. but why can't they refrain from doing what is unneccassary and wrong? questions with no certain answers.

A Shoulder To Cry On

2006-03-31T10:01:00.000+08:00

Life is full of lots of up and downs
But the distance feels further
When it's headed for the ground
And there's nothing more painful
Then to let your feelings take
You down

It's so hard to know
The way you feel inside
When there's so many thoughts
And feelings that you hide
But you might feel better
If you let me walk with you
By your side

And when you need a shoulder to cry on
When you need a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone
Cause i'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be a friend to rely on
When the whole world's gone
You won't be alone
Cause i'll be there

All of the times
When everything is wrong
And you're feeling like there's no use going on
You can't give it up
I'll help you work it out
And carry on

Side by side
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
No matter what is said or done
Our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
Everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone
Cause i'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone
Cause i'll be there

I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one to rely on
When the whole world is gone
You won't be alone
Cause i'll be there

And when the whole world's gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on

i came across this song at my workplace and fell in love with it. the melody is so soothing. it's nice. i've been playing it and playing it all over again in my computer. a song that i've yet to get tired of. how many people need a shoulder to cry on today yet there's no one around them? sad isn't it. how many friends can sit down for 7 hours to hear you rant about what's going on in your life without interupting you? how many friends and cry with you when you are unhappy about certain issues? not much. out of 10 maybe none of them can. people who we consider as friends. how real are they? anyway. this is a song. if you would like to have the song. go to this website. the lyrics and the song is provided :]

http://www.petalia.org/Songs/a_shoulder_to_cry.htm

first tattoo. 26/03/06. scaredy cat

2006-03-27T01:27:00.000+08:00

today was great. went shopping with my dad. went to heeren. first thing i bought was a ripcurl polo t-shirt. haha. one item off my list. and after that we went to koi nobouri. bought 3 pieces of clothes. one tube dress, one 3/4 pants and one vest. pretty. anyway i got my first tattoo on my ankle. it's kinda not proportionate at the moment. gonna do some touch up and hopefully it'll look alot better and nicer. tattoos are for life. and i wanna make sure it's perfect. i'm quite of a perfectionist in art. so yea. pardon me for being so naggy. currently i find the hind leg and the front leg too straight, the head too small, the tail too big, the feet is funny. actually the tail is ok la. just need to proportion it out abit. hopefully it'll work though. but from far to me it's really nice. because the shape is there and everything. it's just the details. haha. sorry for being so fussy. i'm like that. love me for that. if not shut up.

i'm really blessed with a dad like mine. haha. love him so so much. whose dad will go shopping with his daughter? whose dad will go tattooing with his daughter? whose dad will hold hands with his daughter? mine. i really feel very blessed. although i'm not from a very rich family. but i'm contented. my dad is one person i dun wanna lose. he's the one who understands me most. the one who knows about everything. from what i like to who i like. i can tell him about everything and anything. and he can tell me anything too. from his first girlfriend to my mum. what happen and stuff. haha. anyway. i love him.

confession

2006-03-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

haven't been updating my blog for a long long time. that's because i haven't really been at home. go to work in the afternoon. reaching home in the morning. literally morning where the sun's up. then go to work in the afternoon again. pretty much like a routine now. haha. feeling rather down recently for no apparent reason. maybe it's because i'm too emotional or something. feeling stressed and tired and thinking too much of certain useless nonsensical issues. haiz. everytime i'm down. it'll always be the same issue that bothers me. now that i'm working at a place that can drink and stuff. i've been drinking for the past few days. haha. clubbing at rav. watching movies at 4am in the morning. going to k-box after work at 3am. haha. kinda love this night life. reach home sleep. sleep wake up go work. after work go enjoy. and the day goes on like that. but it's kinda exhausting on the other hand. so i didn't work today. for the whole of last week i'm working working working. haha. at least i get to see someone. haha. anything else doesn't really matter. but i look so super lethargic. asshole. haha. ok la. kinda feeling broken down abit. but what to do.

i want to retract the words i said to you
on that faithful night i confessed
everything outwardly seems to be fine
but inside of me, i lied

why did i have to give it away
become part of a character in a story
the drinkings and the late nights out
i would be home sleeping, knock out

who are you to make me feel this way
you are a nobody, a nobody
and that makes you someone in me
just because

it's you

Aslyn-That's When I Love You

2006-03-08T12:21:00.000+08:00

When you have to look away
When you don't have much to say
That's when i love you
I love you
Just that way

To hear you stumble when you speak
Or see you walk with two left feet
That's when i love you
I love you... endlessly

And when you're mad cause you lost a game
Forget i'm waiting in the rain
Baby i love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more i learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when i love you
When i love you no matter what

So when you turn to hide your eyes
Cause the movie made you cry
That's when i love you

I love you more a little more each time
and when you can't quite match your clothes
or when you laugh at your own jokes
that's when i love you
i love you more than you know
and when you forget that we had a date
Or that look that you give when you show up late
Baby i love you
I love you anyway

Cause here's my promise made tonight
You can count on me for life
Cause that's when i love you
When nothing you do can change my mind
The more i learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when i love you
When i love you no matter what

Oh...
That's when i love you
When nothing baby
Nothing you do can change my mind
The more i learn the more i love
The more my heart can't get enough
That's when i love you
When i love you
No matter what

Oh..
No matter... what

i love you... a common three words exchanged between couples and our God... but which of these times when you said it, is sincere from your heart? which of these times when you said it, you really meant what you said? saying it all the time may become a routine in your life... meaning of the word is numbed by the numerous times you said...

i love you
this three words i'd say to you
sincerely
from the bottom of my heart

not intending to recieve it back
getting the same treatment
i gave
or expecting anything

something that i give freely
out of my own free will
hoping deeply
it'll reach someone true

someone who will not crush
this hope i have inside
treasuring it
like no one's else business

trademark-how could i

2006-03-06T23:11:00.000+08:00

I never wanted to fall again
My heart was wounded
From where I'd been before
Then I saw you
I was determined not to feel a thing
Not let it touch me or ever hurt me again
Then I saw you

How could I know
When I saw you
Every thought that I had about love
Would finally come true
How could I know
You'd change my world around
It's all brand new
Since I saw you

I noticed you from across the room
All of my fears disappeared from view
When I saw you
My hearts skipped a beat when I took that first step
I had to touch you before my next breath was through
When I saw you

How could I know
When I saw you
Every thought that I had about love
Would finally come true
How could I know
You'd change my world around
It's all brand new
Since I saw you

uniquely different

2006-02-28T00:51:00.000+08:00

well. not much happened today. went out with Julia to swee lee. i bought my metal sticks, metronum and tuner! so glad. finished my february list of things i wanna get. haha. after that we went for dinner at bugis and shopped around the place. we had conversations along the way. and it's kinda interesting. in a way that cause i'm not really close to her. and we just talk and talk and talk non-stop. from bugis street to bugis junction and lastly to icon. saw lotsa nice things at icon. came across this shop that personalises your jeans. it's amazing. it's very unique in a way. nice and nice and very nice. think i'm gonna do that with my jeans. they do ripping and tearing, vintaging and splashing and even painting. literally. it's very nice. after that went i was on the way home. yang fong called. meeting him, vic and hui shan at 302 for a drink. sat till around 12am in the morning. i didn't bring my keys out, so i called my dad asking him to fetch me after he knock off from work. i was so afraid he would forget. cos it happened once. but good thing he remembered. then he drove me home. my dad said i look more cheerful recently. haha. i don't suffer monday blues.

gonna work tomorrow. just find my working environment better and better. maybe it's because i gotta talk and joke with them and stuff. not so a stranger to that place. my cousin came and i served them personally. haha. cool right. so those who know where i'm working. come and patronise and give me TIPS!!! haha.

results are coming out on wednesday. which is tomorrow. arh!!!! nervous nervous. shivers shivers. hopefully i'm gonna do well in it. so that i don't have to apply for a retake and save money. go uni. finish it and support my family. then it'll be a load and burden off my dad. God, i pray You'll bless my results. hopefully it's good. if it's good, i can keep my job. if it's not. i'll be lost man. not knowing what to do and stuff.

you are you
i am i
no one's gonna change
this truth that doesn't lie

i'm not you
you are not me
never will we ever
think the same

even the most similar things
have the slightest difference
what more you and i
completely different

is being different a good thing?

be UNIQUELY DIFFERENT

Anika Paris ~ In Love Again

2006-02-21T17:04:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I believed
Love could be forever
But it broke me down
Maybe I'm afraid
To face it all again
And take another chance cause
I'm not sure you feel the same

No baby, I don't wanna fall
I don't wanna fall
No baby, I don't wanna fall
in love again
Baby cause I am

Do you know?
What it's like
To wake up in the morning
Just to have you on my mind

No baby, I don't wanna fall
I don't wanna fall
No baby, I don't wanna fall
in love again
Baby cause I am

Tell me do you know if you have never ever
Had your spirit broken, like it's stolen
Tell me do you know if you have never ever
Had a nervous breakdown, like a meltdown
Tell me do you know if you have never ever
Had a pretty face hurt you, and dessert you
And leave you out to bleed, it's bittersweet

Baby, I don't wanna fall
I don't wanna fall
No baby, I don't wanna fall
in love again
Baby cause I am
Baby cause I am
Yes I am

trip to china

2006-02-21T15:47:00.000+08:00

on the 17th feb, i went to china with my parents. took the morning 9.30am flight. woke up at 6.30am, reached the airport at around 8.

can u find macau?

check in and this is the plane i took.

board the plan and i took the window sit.

this is the plane that took off before mine.

clouds

island

we reach macau at around 1.30pm in the afternoon. went for lunch and checked in into our hotel rooms. this is my room number.

room no.

the lights and paintings

sun from the room. it's misty and cold there.

the next 2 days. we went shopping. this are the list of things i bought.

von dutch pants

adidas shoes

bracelet. bought on the plane

earphones and photoshop disc

bape pullover

marvel collection bape shoes [ spiderman ]

marvel collection bape shoes [ captain ]

bape shirt

gucci envy me perfume. bought on the plane

loreal mascara. bought on the plane as well

boss bag

some figurine. funny.

self defense equipments.

collection of everything on my bed

on the way back.

band was singing.

tiger

strange way of boarding the plane.. my first time :]]

fake reality

2006-01-26T00:58:00.000+08:00

tell me what should i do
so that i'll stop thinking of you
it's like no matter what i do
i'll see you out of the blue

you've been crossing my mind
almost a million times a day
it's not that i really mind
but it's taking my real world away

everything in my mind is always just a fantasy
nothing more then fake reality
a dream that i want but will never be true
because the person i like is you

i'm lost
i don't know what to do
i'm helpless
there's nothing i can do

should i

2006-01-25T13:41:00.000+08:00

are there really things that can't be said
will i regret if i don't say
will it be worse then i thought if i were to let it out
should i tell someone?
or keep it to myself?

is liking someone really that difficult?
but why issit not as simple as i thought?
i like you, you like me
i thought that's all it takes in a relationship

but sad to say it's not

you once fell for me and you didn't say
now i'm falling for you and i daren't say
i want to but i can't

what should i do?

to stay or to go?

*LOST*

bought more things

2006-01-25T13:13:00.000+08:00

on the 20th Jan, i went to Heeren myself before going down to Kallang to help out with the tower. all because of one top i saw in the seventeen magazine from Koi Norbouri. i fell in love with it at first sight, so did my mum and dad. haha. so my dad bless me with that top. it's kinda rugged. it's the second LAST PIECE!!!

on the 23rd Jan, went shopping with Anthony first at Far East. He bought one pair of dunks. i was so jealous. haha. i saw one pair that i like, took a photo of it and sent it to my dad. my dad didn't reply. when i called him, he hung up the phone. i quite disappointed at first, but later i realise he was having a meeting. haha. anyway. this was the dunk Anthony bought.

it cost 169 bucks.

after he bought his stuff, we went over to bugis and met up with Rallen, Grace and Yiling. Yiling bought a new pair of Levi's jeans. slim cut. NICE. haha. but my dad once told me i need not so many jeans. anyway i got lotsa bottoms at home already. if i buy somemore. think my dad's gonna kill me. we shop till like 10 plus. me reach home at 11.30pm. and the next day i'm meeting Fiona to go shopping again.

so the next day came. 24th Jan, i went with my mum to the bank. she forgot her password to her NETS card and we have to spend an extra 5 bucks to get her a new one. how funny. hopefully this time she'll remember her password. anyway. was suppose to meet Fiona at 3pm at Far East plaza. but due to ther photoshoot, it was changed to 4.30pm. thankz to that, my mum bought me a billabong top and bottom.

this pants was the LAST PIECE!!! wahaha. and i bought it.

after buying, i went down to orchard. because Fiona was gonna be late, so i went to Pan Pacific to walk around. that's the shopping centre i like most, but i can't afford. haha. anyway thankz to Fiona, i got the time to walk around Roxy and i found this amazingly nice top. to me la it's very nice. haha. and it's once again the LAST PIECE. and i bought it. this time, my own money. haha. but i felt worth it. my dad says it's nice too when i reach home, so did my friends.

what i like about the shirt is the prints, it's gold in colour and it's got a flying horse.

then after that i met Fiona at LeftFoot, my dad's gonna bless me with a pair of dunks. i was so happy the night before when he told me i can go buy that shoe. AHAHAHA!!! the shoe is PINK! but i love it. it's got a shiny finishing and that's what i like.

my mum says it's nice. so i don't care. ahaha. i like it. and it cost only 69 bucks. so far the cheapest dunks i've seen. and one more thing.. IT'S THE LAST PAIR TOO!!!!

realise i've been spending and spending and spending none stop this few days. can't help it. there are alot of nice stuff. i'm so happy!!! i'm so BLESSED!!!!!

LOVE YA MUM AND DAD!!!!! THANK GOD FOR MY PARENTS!!!!!

things i bought

2006-01-20T12:32:00.000+08:00

yesterday went out early in the morning to help do up the tower. it's actually the decoration, spraying, of the curtains. this is our tower :

it's huge. and very heavy. haha. anyway. during one of the practices, i broke my very first pair of drumsticks. argh!!! i'm sad. so i bought a new pair. and i bought a drum practice pad as well:

there's 20% discount. bought it at swee lee.

my mum's nice. she bought me a billabong shirt when she went shopping yesterday. it's nice. and i love this kinda shirt:

that time i went shopping with her, i bought one guess belt and one bottom:

that's the buckle

i like patchwork

Chinese New Year is also coming. didn't really buy much new clothes. because i already have them. and wore them once every year. so maybe i'll rewear them. haha. this are the 2 qi paos i have. the red one was custom made, with every measurement following the white one. only that the red one is not stretchable but the white one is:

had this when i was in sec4, i was 16 then. now i'm 18. and i still can wear. ahaha.

bought this to match and below is the handbags my dad bought for me

these are the other two tops i have. bought them from ChinaSquare if i didn't remember wrongly:

Hell or Heaven

2006-01-16T12:15:00.000+08:00

standing in the wilderness of an unknown place
fire everywhere and heat on his face

he's feeling the pain
struggling so hard in vain
but no matter how hard he try
he's gonna die

he stood there wondering why
why he's gonna die
even if he knows, it's too late
even if he cries till his tears run dry
hell's still a place where everything die

hell's not a place to mess with
once you're in, don't think you can leave
a place where most people believe do exist
yet their unbelieve will cause them to perish

Christ is the answer to shun eternal death
yet only a few believe and the rest don't care

hell or heaven
you decide
live or die
choice is yours

we only have one life
choose to live and not regret

Fear God and you shall have no fear of man

hmmm

2006-01-13T02:46:00.000+08:00

Well, today is not really a bad day except for the rain. It is kind of tiring and stuff though. Reach home late today after strikeforce and got scolded from my dad. I went for supper and took the last train home, that is why. It takes 1hour for me to go home, excluding waiting time and walking time. The preview was cancelled again due to the rain. Dumb rain. Yea, I agree with the fact that when it rains, it is nice to sleep. And that is precisely the point. I do not sleep in the afternoon and evening, why rain?

Anyway, on Monday, Bro Boon taught a few of us the Brazilian beat. It is hard to maintain the beat but it is FUN! Taught a few of them today and we had fun. While the rest were practicing for Chingay, we were there playing. * opps * but at least we enjoyed ourselves.

Earlier in the morning my mum came into my room to clear my room, my wardrobe to be exact. Yea, I have lots of clothes, but I am reluctant to give them away. I am a very sentimental person. I love my things. I find it a waste to give them away, and that is how I have lot of clothes. I love to buy clothes. Maybe I should start slimming down then maybe I can fit into most of my clothes again. * I am getting fat due to the prata every night after practice *

Went shopping yesterday with my mum. And yes, I bought stuffs again. I bought a belt from GUESS and a pair of long patched-pants from Far East. I was so afraid my dad would find it ugly. * I always go shopping with dad instead of mum * my mum is nice, she buy things I like, whereas for my dad, he buy things he likes. * It is a lot of things * haha. Good thing my dad likes it. * GUESS is having sales!!!! * In fact everywhere is sales. * I want to go shopping!!! * But I haven gotten my pay yet.

Talking about my pay reminds of my job. I haven been working lately due to the practices. * Oh no, is my supervisor mad at me. * Sure he is. At first I told him I can work 3 days a week, but it is like reduced to 0 days a week. * Die * I miss working. * It is the money i miss actually, sobs *

Hmmm. Recently I have been thinking about Joyce Meyer's message. No doubt it made an impact, but whether is it positive or negative I’m not sure. Hopefully by penning this down does not make me go for counseling. Here goes. When I heard the message of "liking myself" I was thinking, do I? In fact I dun really like myself, although I have been trying very hard to. Just like what she said, I got a lot of "I wish-es". I wish I was this and that and the list goes on. There are a lot of things I cannot do and I am not. Of cos i am not trying to emphasize on the physical stuff, but more on the emotional and inward stuff. I am a very emotional unstable person. I can be feeling like this and that the next. I cannot strike a conversation properly without feeling awkward. I am not much of a talker or a joker. For some reasons I cannot do story telling or tell jokes for nuts. Minute stuff does not amuse me. Even in my family, my brother is good at making my mum laugh when he makes her mad. My dad will find is amusing and start laughing together with them, I will be there wondering what is so funny. I find my brother irritating while others find him entertaining. This is what I hate about myself, not being able to relate with people.

Sometimes I really wish to shut out from the world and sleep forever. I dream almost every night when I sleep. And I love my dreams. They were never bad. I get the things I want, do the things I want and be with the person I want to be with. Talk to the person I want to talk to too.

Every time when I got a problem and need to find someone to talk, I just have to call. But now, I dun even know whom to call. Everyone whom I use to call seems to be so far away, having his or her own social life. Each time i got something good I want to share with somebody, but there is no one in my mind. I am not talking about God. I know I can share it with Him. But what I want is not just a listener, but also someone who will respond. I used to turn to my dad. But now it is so hard to talk to him. Partly because he is already busy and stress in his work I dun want to disturb him. Now that my results are coming out soon, I can see it from my dad that he is worried. I dun want to disappoint him. I dun want to disappoint a lot of people.

My uncle once told my dad that next time when I grow up, I will * tan bo jia * in hokkien which means earn no money to eat. I dun want to be looked down upon. Since young a lot of people dislike me. They say I have attitude problem. My teachers, friends and even my mum said that. Maybe I have. My mum once told me she would rather have my brother than have me. Maybe that is the reason I dislike my brother so much. My mum might not have meant what she said. But that really hurt me a lot. Yea, one thing that Pastor taught us was to forget past hurts. But it is not that easy. Thinking of what happened that day is very saddening. Every sentence that she said is still engraved in me.

Joyce Meyer said we should love ourselves right? Tell me how. I am not happy with the way I am. When I look at people around me, I envy them for being able to relate to people. I envy those who are able to bring laughter into people's life, something that I cannot do at all.

Are friends * not hi bye friends * really that important? I gave up trying to search for one. They never seem to stay. One reason being I dun know how to make people stay around me and not get bored or irritated by me. Yea, it is lonely, but I am relieved by one thing. I wont have to worry about them leaving me. I wont have to cry over them leaving me because they already left.

Will I be remembered if I am gone one day?

feeling blue?

2006-01-10T12:23:00.000+08:00

will i recieve a call on my phone
or hear a message tone
with a name that's blinking
of who i'm thinking

i want to recieve your call
at least i know you cared
but all i hear is silence
it's like no one's there

nothing can describe how i'm feeling
something's missing
is there a difference between dream and reality
i hope there isn't because i love this fantasy

how i wish i could stay forever in this dream
forever filled with happiness to the brim
even if it were to overflow
at least i know it'll never "underflow"

who will be able to make this true
always feeling gay and never blue
but a dream will always be just a dream
who can make this a reality

who?

JESUS

who am i

2006-01-10T12:10:00.000+08:00

i sometimes wonder who i really am. am i really who i am when i'm around certain people? i guess not. i realise it's kinda hard to find someone who has the same interest as me. for example, i like music from celtic circle, not those heavy metal or rock songs. which is so different from my friends. i like museums and stuffs, but my friends don't. so it's kinda hard for me to enjoy what i'm doing. it's hard to find someone who'll enjoy what i like to do. i can be the most boring person. not knowing what to say when there's people around. i believe a trip can be silent for me. i'm not those kind of person who likes to start conversation and it'll end up so awkward for the both of us. blah blah blah. the least goes on on who i am and who i'm not. but still. should i stay the way i am, or continue to compromise? i dunno. my friends love steamboat, i dun. my friends love k-box, i dun. my friends love to talk, i dun. i like anime, they dun. i like science centers, they dun. i like classical music, they dun. i like things they dun and they like things i dun. haha. what should i do?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

2006-01-06T12:51:00.000+08:00

once again another year has gone pass.
to think that my A-levels is over and i'm waiting for the release of the results.
it's really amazing to me how time passes so slow but yet so fast in front of our eyes. the seconds that cannot be reused.

anyway. an update of what's happening now. i'm currently working at Mount Faber as a waitress. working hours are kinda tiring. it's from 5pm to latest 3am. but will normally reach home around 4.30am. it's kinda of an experience la. with the people that u are working with and handling with. some are really idiotic though. there's one person. there's an ashtray on her table, but when she smoke, she threw the ashes on the floor. this are the kind of people we have. no brains and inconsiderate people. overall the people there are ok. some are easy to get along with whereas some are not. one thing about most of my colleagues there are that their full stop, commas, starting and ending of a sentence are vulgur languages, and most of them smokes too. i'm gonna die very young as a passive smoker. haha.

chingay is also round the corner on 4th of January. really looking forward to it. infact, i'm really excited. happy as well:]] wonder how's everything gonna be like. haha.

chinese new year is also coming. ooh. and i'll have my chance to wear my qipao. yes, u heard me right. i've got two. one white and a red one. i've got lots of oriental clothes, all for the sake of chinese new year. and i simply love them. it's so nice. haha. it's also a time to get all my ang paoz and win lotsa money in blackjack. wahaha. mahjong too!!!

i believe this year is gonna be so exciting!!! wonder how will this year be like eh.

echo-cited

limit

2005-11-28T19:48:00.000+08:00

what does it mean to understand someone?
can we ever really understand somebody?
can we ever really know?

it seems that i don't understand anybody
it seems that i don't know anybody

i wonder when will someone really understand me
not who i am

but who i really am

finally it's gonna be over

2005-11-18T09:31:00.000+08:00

wahaha... i can't wait for 3.30pm to come... after 3.30pm... i'm officially out of that stupid school and my JC life is finished!!!! woohoo... 2 years of torture just for 2 weeks of death sentence... so idiotic.. something that determines your future... just by some stupid papers we do... does the government not know not everyone is academically incline? and that not all academically incline people can work... how dumb just to see qualification and not quality... haiz... just hope that my results can show that my choice of going to JC is not a wrong one... ahaha...

I'M STILL VERY HAPPY WITH THE FACT THAT I'M DONE!!!!

A- LEVELS

2005-11-14T20:20:00.000+08:00

THEY SUCK THEY SUCK THEY SUCK TO THE CORE!!!!

HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT HATE IT SO VERY MUCH!!!!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH CAMBRIDGE???!!!!!

OUT TO KILL US ISSIT???!!!!

WHY SET THE PAPER UNTIL SO DAMN FREAKING DIFFICULT???!!!

NOTHING BETTER TO DO BUT FAIL ME ISSIT????!!!!!

HATE YOU HATE YOU HATE YOU!!!!!!!

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i just wanna forget
i just wanna let go
i just wanna go
i just wanna not know

everything about you

Thank God for everything

2005-11-10T21:03:00.000+08:00

you were hit by a stone
thank God it's not a huge rock

you fell into a ditch
thank God it's not a neverending pit

you met with an accident
thank God you are still alive and kicking

you were cheated of your money
thank God it's not all your possessions

you were forsaken by your friends or families
thank God He never did

you may lose alot of things in life
but God wouldn't wanna lose you
So thank God for that too

fairytale

2005-11-05T21:08:00.000+08:00

life's been boring with A-Level's round the corner. i'm not exactly feeling stress but i can't explain how i'm feeling. it felt so much like insercurity but it doesn't really make sense if i say that. i'm not attached and stuff like that. no friendship problem. but i'm feeling so troubled. don't know what's really wrong. so irritating. it's as if everyday i miss out on something really important but yet i don't know what is it. irritating isn't it. not knowing what is missing.

anyway, currently i joined this gym. actually not currently la. it's very long already. it's about a month. came to know 3 guys. one is my consultant, two are my personal trainer. i was glad i know them instead of others in the gym. so far i find them friendlier then the rest of the people. maybe it's because they are entertaining me. haha.

today at cineleisure. i saw him. haha. he's so cute. blehz. even my parents say he is. haha. so he is cute. love it when he smile. but the next time i'm gonna see him will rounghly a month later. so sad. can't get to see him. but no worries. he'll be on my mind. hopefully one day can get a picture of him. haha. alright. i think i'm going crazy.

my dad just came back from China and he bought so many things for me. i'm so happy. i got new mp4 player and a new bag and a new wallet. loving them so much. come to think of it. i'm blessed with lots of new stuffs. even my California Fitness membership is fully paid by my dad. love him so much.

life's like a fairytale
things that are unreal may seem so real
things that are real may seem so unreal

people live behind a mask
life is just a stage
an individual is just a role played
directed by God

emotions can be so well hidden
everything's kept in the dark
who knows what's going on
if you don't say

sometimes i wonder
what's real and what's not
the answer i'm looking for
never seems to talk

a person who seem so nice on the surface
may be just a hypocrite
a person who seem so harsh on the surface
may be longing for love and embrace

how do we tell them apart
it's just too hard
everything can be a fake
but yet so realistic(WTH)

tell me what and who should i believe?

God sees me through Exams

2005-11-02T19:22:00.000+08:00

[Psalms 37:5]Commit your ways to the LORD, Trust also in Him, And He shall bring it to pass.

[Proverbs 3:5-6]Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

[Proverbs 21:5]The plans of the dilligent lead surely to plenty, But those of everyone who is hasty surely to poverty.

[Ecc 7:8]The end of a thing is better than its beginning.

[Isaiah 41:13]For I, the LORD your God, will hold your right hand, Saying to you,'Fear not, I will help you.'

[Phil 4:6]Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God.

[Phil 4:13]I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

hand i wished was mine

2005-09-18T22:56:00.000+08:00

standing in a corner
looking at you from afar
in my heart i wonder
how you are

it's been a long time since
since i last saw you
it's been a long time since
since i last heard from you

saw you holding a girl's hand
a hand i wished was mine
it made me really think
was i a good girlfriend then

nope
guess i'm not

but i still miss you
not a little
not much either
just enough to keep you in my mind

gone

miracle car accident

2005-08-02T19:55:00.000+08:00

i was involved in a car accident a few days ago and this is an update about it. i've only told a few people as in my classmates and cell members. for those who know about this accident that happen on the 1st August. you must be wondering how my dad's car have been wrecked. i believed God's hand was upon us when the accident happened as both my dad and i were ok. we only suffered minor abrasions and cuts and some muscle aches here and there. psychologically and physically. both my dad and i are fine. i've uploaded the pics of the car. take a look at it.

this is the front part of the car after hitting two cars and a curb.

this is the side where the front passenger is sitting. and that's where i'm sitting. btw, the door was jammed. and i really wonder how i got out of the car. take the length of a normal ruler which is about 10-15cm. that's the max amount of space the door was able to open. and i squeezed out of it. means one thing. i'm not fat.

this is the driver side. it's not as bad as the passenger side though. but still the impact aint small.

this is the windscreen of the car. as u can see. the windscreen actually broke at my side. my dad first though i banged into it. but no. the air bags were working. scary eh. it's only my side that it broke.

these were the only four pictures my dad took. so yea. the car is in a very bad shape. i really thank God that me and my dad are still alive. the front mirror in the car broke and it didn't cut any of us. and the windscreen did not shatter and came down on us. besides, normally with such impact, the driver and front passenger would normally have their legs stuck. but ours didn't. nothing moved in the car. only the front part of the car was wrecked. although my dad told me he did pay for the safety of the car. i still believe God was with us. thankz for all those who prayed for me and my dad. am really grateful.

the whole thing happen so fast. it was really fast. thinking back. it's already two days since. but the feeling and the memory of what happen is still so vividly remembered in my heart.

P.S. i didn't know air bags are so painful to hit on. they are suppose to cushion our impact to prevent concussion. instead i got abrasion on my nose. OUCH!

with a blink of an eye
i thought i was gonna die
i saw the car i heard a bang
how life is so fragile

life is precious
life is priceless
it is so fragile
treasure before it breaks

life can be seen as a beautiful crystal
that glitters under the spot light
beautiful isn't it
it sparkles and twinkles

sometimes we say life is a pain in the neck
so tiring and difficult to go on
but i believe before the crystal was pretty
it went through fire

life comes with purpose
purpose comes with pain
want your life to be like crystals?
go through the fire and survive

Jesus survived the cross
so must we

unpredictable

2005-07-30T00:34:00.000+08:00

another week is gonna pass so soon. last weekend felt just so yesterday. looking ten years back. it also felt like yesterday. time is such a mysterious thing. how accurate can we get from our watch to keep track of time. looking at the calender. one day pass. another comes. and there's no way to even reverse time. there's so many things we do in life that can be undone. but when time is lost. it's lost forever. turning back the clock is impossible. life is so unpredictable. we dunno what's gonna happen to us in future at all. even sometimes when we plan our stuff and work towards our goal. what is install for us in future? issit gonna disrupt our plans? although it's fun to think how "tomorrow" is a mystery, there still live this boringness in life thinking it's gonna be another same old day as the day before. is that true? somehow it is. life has become a routine. waking up and going to school. after school go home for dinner and sleep. and the day goes on like that. where is the excitement? where is the fun? but serving Jesus is different. instead of waking up on weekends with nothing better to do. i go to church. and that's when my whole new week begins again. a whole new touch from Heaven. but what lies ahead of me is still waiting for me to uncover.

although now i'm stressed up with my work. but every tomorrow counts as a glimsp of hope for me to have my breakthrough in my studies. i believe when there is a tomorrow. hope still lives. instead of giving up. keep going on. the solution might just be ahead of you. if you stop. what lies ahead will just be another hidden treasure which will be so hard to find in future. cause a map is needed. hee. i'm gone

life is so unpredictable
we never know what's gonna happen the next second
nor the next minute
nor the next hour

issit worth wondering what life is really all about?
wondering if it is all about tomorrow
discovering the hidden mysteries of what is in tomorrow
issit just a whole new episode of another "exciting" day?

or issit more than just that?
what is more than just that?

living for Jesus is

who's right who's wrong

2005-07-25T16:23:00.000+08:00

you know what. i felt so controlled. it's as if i don't have a life of my own. i don't understand why certain things that we do. there have to be restrictions even when they are not really significant. all i was asking for was just 2hours per month and that can't be done. i wonder how big an impact that's gonna cause my results. going for cell and church has somehow became a routine. something that i do every week. where's that sense of longing and unity that i use to feel. all gone except for like one? more seems to be coming from my ministry members. they are so much closer to me compared to cell members. i don't have any best friends or whatsoever now. just friends. which i know that aint suppose to be the case. i really dunno what's wrong or what's going on. perhaps i can't adapt to what is required. i'm sorry if that's the case. not everyone change fast and adapt to the surrounding. if my parents really wanna blame the church for too much activities. they would have done it long ago. if i were to stop going to church and cell. my parents will have absolutely no reason to blame the church. right? true? i really wonder what's right and what's wrong. to do what at what time and when is the right time to do the right thing. i've tried prioritising my time. hopefully everything will fall into place but it always get worse with more homework pilling. is it my fault. no. i don't think so. at least i tried. maybe yes. cause in the first place i've chosen the wrong thing. so superly wrong.

who in life loves to fail. only those who don't care about their future. no one. no one loves to fail or wanna fail. everyone wishes to be successful. rich and good-looking. if you don't. i'll advise you to seek a doctor. have anybody wonder maybe it's not because that person is not hardworking or didn't put in effort? maybe it's just that person aint good academically. why enforce such strict measures on that person when he doesn't do well? unfair isn't it. not everyone is born smart. not everyone has the same level of determination or perserverence or whatever shit is needed in exams or whatever thing you do. everyone has their own potential in different stuff and has a limit to everything. i can study. yes i do. but i'm not as academically incline as any other people. i can do memory work well but not application. i'm trying. i'm doing my work and finishing everything on time. just because i hope there can be an improvement. and all i want is time to have fun with the people i wanna be with. with what i like to do. and that's serving in my ministry. and i'm restricted from that. how great eh.

people in life often have something to look forward to. be it meeting someone they wanna meet. or doing things they like to do. or even into the future. looking forward to be a teacher or a parent or whatever they wanna be. for me. i just look forward to a day of no work and stress and pressure. but that doesn't seems to be the case. there are just more commitments. and who dunno escaping ain't a help. it'll just come back after some time. i really can't stand this kinda life. it's so puppet with no strings attached. but what's the difference. felt so manipulated. i'm not a robot. nor am i a superhuman. i'm sorry if i can't live up to your standard. i have my own expectation and u have your own. you can't expect everyone to be like you. even if u do expect. time is needed. right. whatever. everyone has a limit in them. just hope mine is not yet reached. cause if it does.

just like a bomb
tick tick tick boom

the reason Jesus died on the cross
was to save us all
the reason why i go to church
is simply because i love Him

partly was because of the friends i've made
that have helped change the world that i hate
i wonder how long more it's gonna take
before all these friendships drop dead

the fact that i love Jesus
still remained the same
this is something that will never change
but not all things remain unchanged

time is all that's needed
to change something
be it you or me or anybody or even anything
it's just when is this time coming

a time bomb
tick tick tick
i'm gone

looking back

2005-07-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

back in the past
you told me i didn't trust you
maybe i didn't
but did you?

i wasn't sure of what to say
i was at lost for words
shocked and speechless
staring at you was all i could do

i wanted to tell you
i didn't wanna let go
i wanted to tell you
how much i love you

but i didn't get the chance to

time again and again
back in my own room
where memories will flow
wishing you were here beside me

although the time we were together
wasn't very long
but those days together
were really memorable

now each of us have our own path
seeking and searching what's right for us
just wanna thank you for that day
allowing a better future ahead

for a lesson was learnt

i dunno. personally, i don't really like break-ups. there was a few i've experience that left me depressed for a few days. but when i look back, i realised behind every break-up there's a reason. it may not be truth, it might just be an excuse to break-up. but i don't mind. i did my part by asking the reason, hoping to know why so that in my next relationship, i won't repeat the mistake i made previously. although i feel very bad and depressed after a break-up, but looking back, it's really not worth crying over. the bible says to forget those things which are behind and reaching forward to those that are ahead. i realised no matter how hard i cry. that person won't come back to me. people always tell me."if he is meant to be yours he'll be back. if not, just let him go." i never wanted to believe this, but seems to me i've to face the fact. but from each break-up, i learnt a few lessons. and this lessons though not really significant, i believe it'll make me a better girlfriend in future. people out there. you need not agree with me as this is my personal opinion. i feel that if a relationship is not working, let it go. no use holding on to something that will eventually come to an end. find out what's wrong and learn from it, so that when the next time you are in a new relationship, you won't do the same thing. cause i still clearly remember what happened with my first guy and the previous one. it was totally different. for the first guy, i didn't know how to be a girlfriend and i underdo it. and being afraid that it would happen again. to the previous guy, i think i overdo it. so hopefully, when the next one comes. it'd be a good one. haha. but i know another thing.

Jesus is the best.
He never leaves no matter what happens
and i love Him.

i'm not alone

2005-07-17T21:44:00.000+08:00

recently i've been feeling really down due to my horrible results. it has been troubling me. of what will i do if my results continues to be bad. how am i suppose to face my parents who have trusted me so much to study on my own. i would be letting everyone who trusted and believed in me. including God. i know and i know that He has always been behind me supporting me. being my pillar of strength in times of need. being my supporter when i fall. but why can't i handle my emotions? i realised i've been too dependent on myself. way back when i first started coming to City Harvest. i can still remember how i was so on fire for God. how i love to go for cell group and services. but when i look at it now. how my spiritual life is. it's way different. ever since one incident. it sets me falling back. of cos the reason for this fall got nothing to do with those people who are involve. but me. i didn't turn to God. instead i blamed everyone else. and i took the wrong step of wanting to backslide. it was a bad choice. a wrong one. cos i didn't seek Him. i turned away. leaving me more depressed. but when i started going back to cell and church. i realised everything was different. everything seemed to have changed so much. i wasn't as interested as before. it was as if i'm going for the sake of going. going because i don't want people to worry. going because i don't want people to keep pestering me and the list of reasons goes on. of all that i've written above. there's one thing in common. it's the way i think and i feel. everytime i've got a problem. i'll depend on my own strength. and each time i do that. my relationship with God gets further and weaker. but recently. after so long. i finally knew what was called leaning upon God's strength. i find myself much happier. i realised i've been missing out alot when i stopped reading my bible last year. there's so many real life experiences in there that showed how they had faith and believe in God when situations seemed so impossible. it's really amazing on how it really changed my thinking. i just hope that next year. my results will be good. cause i know God won't fail me. He might be last minute. but He will never be late.

when i'm sad
He knows
when i'm lost
He knows
when i'm alone
He knows

what is there that He don't?
every secrets of my heart:
who i like
most embarrassing moments
what i hate
my phobias
even the deepest and darkest secrets
He knows

even things that i don't know about myself
He knows

He knows so much about me
yet i don't know much about Him

but i know

He is God
my Saviour
my Beloved
and
my Friend

Jesus

my day today

2005-07-12T17:41:00.000+08:00

my exams finished not too long ago. did study. but the results are still as bad. no improvement. worse even. well. my teachers told me not to be too discourage. trying not to. kinda regretted going to a JC. now i can't even go for strikeforce. and i know i'm gonna miss it so much. my friends. the drums. the trainings. the fellowship. the journey to out practice place. so many many others too. my days there have been fun. filled with people whom i'm happy with. in school i don't find such people around. in cell there are clicks on it's own. so there. well. and i'm barred from going. sobz. feeling kinda sad and stuff. but of cos i know i have to face the consequences for not doing well. but my results have been like that since last year. so. i dunno what's wrong. ever since i'm in JC. my results are just like waterfall. they just keep falling. but they are beautiful aren't they. waterfalls always have rainbows. just hope at the end of the year. after sacrificing so much. my results would be like the rainbow that shines. just like the rainbow that shines after the rain. a miracle. those who knows how my results are like will know they are really like poo. bad. really bad. looking at it just make parents faint. u know. they will go. ask u to study like asking u to go and die like that. this kinda result. where can u go later? no where actually. but i've made a choice to go la-salle. got the interest in designing. hopefully that is my calling. i still dunno yet. but everyone is telling me that my primary purpose now is to study hard and get good grades. haiz. kinda feeling so contained. so being forced. but what can i do. stupid JC. just hope this five months can just fly pass fast. really fast so that i can say bye to exams. they are just too difficult for me to handle. haha. okok. it looks as if i've just written one whole chunk of rubbish. it's after-school symptom. u just wanna let it all out. ok. i'm done. i'm gone.

everytime i fail

2005-07-10T00:09:00.000+08:00

everytime when i fail
my relationship with you always becomes frail
thoughts and doubts if you are real
is always something that i will feel

i don't wanna feel this way
not now, especially today
i know it's easy for me to say
but i don't want it to be this way

faith so shaken
heart so harden

i don't wanna feel this way
not now, especially today

i wanna be strong like never before
on fire for you longing for more
i want you to be the reason
i'm living for

cause i wanna feel this way
now, especially today

being able to love only you
you being my all
and i shall ask for nothing more

nothing

2005-06-14T23:21:00.000+08:00

long time ago, not too long too, i'm obsess with mutants, vampires and werewolves. i dunno why. but i love them. i like to read stories on them, watch movies about them and simply thinking about them.

partly was because those stories about them have always been loneliness. people avoid them, people hated them, people just didn't want them in their societies. i have liked them because of certain reasons. firstly, i find them special. they have what the majority doesn't have. i dunno how to explain the feeling it gives me. but i've always wanted to be special. being someone who is different from others. i use to believe they exist, it's just that we don't know.

besides, not many people know this. but yea. i'm posting it. ran out of people to talk to. so might as well just post it. since i wouldn't know who would be reading. i'm just talking to my computer. assuming that his listening. hopefully. i like the feeling of being helpless (being tied up and not being able to do anything). weird eh. call me psychotic. crazy or whatever. but it's been a long time that i've liked this kinda thing.

of cos i've talked to people about this and there's advises and stuff coming in. don't worry. i'm not suffering from any mental illness. far from it. i'm fine and totally alright.

but this few days, some thing's been troubling me. i think my thoughts have run abit to wild. i even have problem differentiating my dreams from reality. my dreams seemed so real this few days. and it's kinda freaking me out. cos i'd wake up thinking, did i really say that? did i really do that? i don't know what exactly is going on in my mind and stuff. but i know i've been thinking alot lately.

emptiness. the sudden feeling of something unexplainable. i dunno how to explain this thing that i felt. but i believe everyone will have experience this at least once. u just dunno why, but u feel like crying. and when u cry, u'd be asking yourself, why are u crying but u just couldn't find a reason. u just feel like crying. well, i've been feeling like this. for no reason. wonder what's wrong too. i don't feel lonely, but there's this emptiness (guess that's the only word i can find to describe).

haiz. just realised whatever i write seems to have no connections at all. all seems to be so scrambled. guess that's what i'm feeling bah. messed up and stuff. it's not very late. but guess it's time to sleep. will continue to write when i'm in the right mind again. good night.

i heard the wind
i felt the chill
but nothing can ever be
colder than emptiness

what is

2005-06-10T01:21:00.000+08:00

are looks really important?
is wealth really important?
is the level of education important?
what is?

i realise that all the so called important things that people categorised form barriers among themselves, restricting themselves from many things. the world is filled with so many kinds of people. is there a need to rate all of them?

rich and poor
educated and uneducated
pretty and ugly?
no one is perfect right?

people often have checklists made for the friends they wanna have, or even a partner. she must have this, he must have that. blah blah blah. rubbish. and because of what you are looking for, you go around searching for a worldly perfect one

let me tell ya, you'll never find one on Earth

but i know of someone who's perfect.
Jesus

if you are looking for someone who is wealthy, He is
someone who is smart and witty, full of wisdom, He is
whether He is good looking or not, i don't care. cause if looks are important, you should go look at the mirror at yourself before commenting.

you don't love someone for the looks only right?
it's the character that counts.

of cause there's a famous saying that
"if boys are not bad boys, girls won't like them"
true? no, i don't think so

looking at today's society, if u are a bad guy, what are you gonna do in future? rob the bank to earn a living. tell ya what, why not let God touch your heart, open up to Him. He can be your friend. a very personal one. He's a person with a great character, a great ruler and a great King.

Jesus has it all

Save your mind from thinking who you want to love

i've found the perfect one.
named it for you too.

so have you accepted Him?

what are you waiting for?

lost

2005-06-01T23:22:00.000+08:00

something's missing

i can't seem to get it back

what should i do?

stay and wait?

Friends

2005-05-31T10:19:00.000+08:00

i was told having just friends are not enough
there's a need to go deeper than that
having a closer friend
but not a future spouse

but what is meant by a friend?
being together?
spending time talking?
eating lunch together?

i've lost the meaning
i've lost what is called being a friend

those of you who claim to have best friends
what do you all do?
what do you all share about?
do you talk about everything under the sun?
even your deepest secrets?

how did you manage to trust?
why did you take the chance to believe?
cause i don't
not anymore

i've lost the significance of true friendship
i don't even feel the need to have a close friend
although sometimes it does feels lonely
when you need someone but there's no one

but still, i've lost
what is being and having a best friend
life seems so much better without it

no fear of betrayal
no fear of loss
nothing to worry about

i don't like to lose someone who's important to me
and i don't want to lose that someone-to-be again
that's why i'm not building any close friendship

i'm sorry
for the time being
i still can't do it

Pr0mise

2005-05-31T10:10:00.000+08:00

what is meant by the word promise?
looking at the word itself make no sense
is it keepable?
is it breakable?

i guess so

promises are so easily made and said in relationships
-i promise i'll love you and only you forever-
but is it gonna be true?
or will it be just another lie?

i've heard of so many promises made by people
very few are fulfilled
most are broken
others left alone

not long ago
Someone made a promise to me
He told me He's gonna love me forever
should i believe Him?

will He really love me till the end of time?
will He still love me if i'm different?
endess doubts
due to past unkept promises

but i chose to believe once again
wholeheartedly
and i made a promise too
to love Him till the end of time

will this promise come to an end?

ThOuGHtS

2005-05-28T12:15:00.000+08:00

when i'm all alone
i will think of you
are you alone too?

when i'm in school
i will think of you
are you having lessons too?

when i'm having lunch
i will think of you
did you skip your lunch again?

when i'm doing my homework
i will think of you
are you studying too?

when i'm day dreaming
i will think of you
who are you thinking of?

when i'm sleeping
i will think of you
will i dream of you tonight?

but will you ever think of me?

ehco-thots

midst of darkness

2005-05-24T22:34:00.000+08:00

the glow of the stars seemed dimmer
the warmth of the sun seemed colder
where are you?
where are you?

the last thing i remembered was
you walked away from me
the road was hazy and
your shadow was all i could see

i called out your name
there was no response
i called out again
but you were gone

i ran towards the direction you went
i found no one
i reach out my hand
but you were gone

you told me you won't leave me
you broke your promise
you told me you won't go
you broke your promise

you left me in the midst of darkness
alone
middle of nowhere
alone

alone...

where were you when i needed you most
where were you when i needed you most
where were you?
where were you?

FAITH

2005-05-23T10:45:00.000+08:00

i see the devil giggling at a corner
i can hear his evil laughter
are we gonna give in just like that
i don't want it to be that way

wake up
open yours eyes big
see what's going on
don't let the devil overtake your heart

he's cheating on you
he's causing the unbelieves in you
bind him in Jesus name
you should know what to do

DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST SAID?

i don't know what's happening
i don't know how long it's gonna take
you seem to be falling
falling slowly

what should i do?
what can i do?
i wanna help
but are you willing to recieve?

you seem not
it takes two hands to clap
what can i do
if you aren't willing to give me your hand

now that things seems so impossible
i believe it's where FAITH steps in
i wanna believe in God for a miracle
i wanna believe in God for a breakthrough

what is FAITH
FAITH is the substance of things hoped for
the evidence of things unseen

i hope for a miracle
i hope for a breakthrough
i hope for you to come back
i hope for you to be the you i use to know

i don't want to see someone precious to me get shattered
nor do i want to see you die
i wanna grow with you
i wanna be with you

don't give up in this christian walk
it might be tough
it might be rough
but perservere on

God might be last minute
but He is never late
don't give up on yourself
most importantly

DON'T GIVE UP ON GOD

i did not give up on you
so please don't
when people around you have hopes in you
don't crush it

you'll end up hurting that person

ech0-wake up

One Boy One Girl

2005-05-17T22:55:00.000+08:00

He finally gave in to his friend's girlfriend
When she said, "there's someone you should meet"
At a crowded restaurant way cross town
He waited impatiently
When she walked in their eyes met
And they both stared
And right there and then everyone else disappeared but


Chorus:
One boy, one girl, two hearts beating wildly
To put it mildly it was love at first sight
He smiled, she smiled, and they knew right away
This was the day they'd waited for all their lives
And for a moment the whole world revolved
Around one boy and one girl


In no time at all they were standing there
In the front of a little church
In front of their friends and family
Repeating those sacred words
Preacher said, "son kiss your bride"
And he raised her veil
Like the night they met time just stood still



Repeat chorus



He was holding her hand when the doctor looked up and grinned
"congratulations, twins"



Repeat chorus


echo-boy girl

feeling kinda like...

2005-05-15T22:29:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i wrote a blog this way. in a form of a story. right. this few days. have been feeling really stressed. looking at my time table. i realised i've got too many things up my sleeve. way too much. the dates seems to be clashing. and i'm afraid that i won't be able to cope with both school and church stuff. it's pretty true. ever since i'm in church. it's been taking up alot of time. of cos. a day in church is better then being anywhere else. but still. there need to be limit. my parents are non-christian. they get angry with the amount of time i'm spending in church. anyway. this is not my main problem.

my main problem. i really don't know what to do now. how should i organise my time? so that i will be able to do everything. having enough time for what needs to be done. not too much of this and too less for the other. i really don't know. now my time seems to be used up so rapidly. and days are flashing pass right in front of my eyes. my A-levels is only like 163 days away. and i have yet to do my revision. there seems practically no time at all now. and i'm getting nervous. i don't wanna fail this major exam. it's gonna determine my future. i know i can do all things through Christ who will strengthen me. but if nothing is done, nothing is gonna work. extra time don't fall from Heaven. intelligence don't fall from Heaven unto me too. what should i do?

besides, now for emerge conference. i seemed to be involve in so many events. word power. preaching challenge. extreme adventure. talentime. what should i do? my school lessons end late. and i literally seems to have no time to rest.

but i don't wanna let other people down. i wanna be able to perform my best. i wanna be able to succeed in what i've started to do. i don't wanna give up. i don't wanna let go. i wanna perservere on. i wanna be determined. i wanna be... there are so many wanna bes. i have my own expectations to fulfil. i have other's expectations to fulfil too. i don't wanna disappoint any. but i'm tired.

now i'm feeling so lost. so agitated. so frustrated of not being able to do what i'm suppose to do. it's nothing difficult. and i'm not able to do it. and that sucks. really sucks to the bottom of the pit.

i wanna be this and i wanna be that. a never ending list. a simple thing that needs to be done and i ain't able to accomplish it. what's more need to be said? nothing.

there are so many things i wanna do. but i ain't putting in the effort. it seems like everytime i try. it always fail. i know failure is the mother of success and people learn from failures. but i don wanna fail. i've been failing in practically anything that i tried doing. be it studies? or some other things. idiotically they never succeed. and i think too much. it might be a strength. but i believe it's a weakness for me.

now i don't even know how to put those thoughts in my mind in words. there are so many things scrambled up in my head that never stops swirling since the day i got messed up. forget it.

i really need some serious time management. let me show you the dates of events i'm having.

16th May 2005
-school ends at 7pm
-barbeque with sec sch friends

17th May 2005
-school ends at 7pm
-chemistry tuition after school from 7.30pm-9.45pm
-briefing session for extreme adventure at 7pm*

18th May 2005
-Science Practical Assessment A from 2pm-3pm (A-level)
-talentime audition at 5pm in church, meeting members at 4pm*

19th May 2005
-Chemistry Lecture test from 6pm-7pm
-Preaching Challenge Preliminary Round from 3pm-8pm*

this is for this coming week. i wonder how.

two eggs____one relationship

2005-05-10T20:03:00.000+08:00

this is something that i never thought would come to my mind
maybe i'm the worst "think too much" girl you can find
but here goes the story of two eggs
explaining a relationship that i want it to be

out of thousands over eggs
two met each other
they are from different brands
but they still met

one day
He decided to break their shell
the white came leaking out
bit by bit
it emptied

as time goes by
the golden yolk follows
until everything's out of the shell
into the same huge bowl

two nice eggs that are unbeaten
with their yolks still separated
with the white surrounding it
still not merging

He took a spoon
started to stir
guess what
the yolk broke

right infront of His eyes
the yolk mix together
they became one
and can never be separated again

just like a relationship

out of so many people
two met each other
they came from two different world
but they still met

one day
they became friends
they start to share about their lives
bit by bit
more were revealed

as time goes by
even deepest secret was shared
they began to really understand each other
standing on the same ground

this sparked off a relationship
they held hands
got closer
but still
they are an individual

after a long enough time
marriage was on their mind
they came together
face to face
a marriage vow was made

right infront of God's eyes
they got married
He saw His creations became one
He smiled, i smiled

ech0-beautiful

a dream

2005-05-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

there was a night
i dreamt about you
to be able to be with you again

long time ago, we broke into a fight
now, how do you do

i suddenly missed you like never before
how i wish i could just forget them all
the unforgettable memories that never fails to haunt me
the memorable times we spent since we were three

when are you taking this pain away
it has been bothering me since that day
do you know how much it hurts this way
is this the price i have to pay

you once said you love me
that was what i once was told
you once said you miss me
that was what i once was told

i want to hear them again
i want to hear them again
say them once more
just like before

now my heart is longing for you
i really want my dream to come true
i don't know how much i need to do
but i know, i fear losing you

come back to me, to my side
although your love for me might have died
we can try again, to reignite
let's just put away, all our pride

i really want to have you back
what is it that i lack
i never want to make you sad
please tell me, how can i have you back

ech0-ack

Jesus, You are...

2005-05-01T00:10:00.000+08:00

Jesus, You're my One and Only God
Jesus, there's no other i adore
Oh Jesus, how i want to know You more
come into my heart, and tell me all

Jesus, You're my Saviour and my Friend
Jesus, i know this won't come to an end
Oh Jesus, let me hold on to Your hand
For You are my sheperd and i am the lamb

Jesus, You're the greatest King of all
Jesus, i give my life as i am called
Oh Jesus, i know You'll never let me fall
upon me, let Your presence pour

Jesus, You're the Way the Truth the Life
Jesus, with You my life have been revived
Oh Jesus, now my life is not deprived
it was You, that now i can survive

Jesus, You're a strong and shining light
Jesus, let me shine like You so bright
Oh Jesus, won't You be my guide
let my light, shine with all its might

Jesus, You're my everything
Jesus, You're more than life could ever bring
Oh Jesus, i have been redeem
praises to You my heart would sing

ehc0-Jesus

a sacrifice of praise

2005-04-25T20:58:00.000+08:00

at times when you are at your lowest
at times when you feel restless
lift up your hands
give a SACRIFICE of PRAISE to the most high God

at times when you don't feel right
at times when your pockets are real tight
lift up your hands
give a SACRIFICE of PRAISE to the most high God

at times when things don't go your ways
at times when you had your worse days
lift up your hands
give a SACRIFICE of PRAISE to the most high God

sing PRAISE to the Lord
shout hallelujah
lift up your hands
and PRAISE the Lord!!

ech0-praise

Life's a Black Pit

2005-04-24T00:02:00.000+08:00

life is like a black pit
no one knows what's deep down inside
we only know it is dark
pitch black

where is the light that we need?
where is the air that we seek?
the light that you will long for so much more
the air that you will hunger after

it is at the surface
waiting to be discovered

just like our life
it is filled with darkness
no light
no air

Jesus is our light
Jesus is our air
He is waiting
always waiting for you to accept Him

He is always waiting by your black pit
the pit that is so dark and not lit
reach out to Him
He will be there

ready to light up your darkness
ready to fill up your emptiness

the fire that He has placed in my life
has been shining so brightly
although sometimes it flickers a bit
it has never gone out of light

He is my hope and my strength
a pillar so strong
so ALMIGHTY
so MAJESTIC

and i'm proud to serve my God

My God is the King of Kings

the GREATEST of all

echo-tic

LiVe ReCorDing

2005-04-22T15:18:00.000+08:00

the live recording was great
i simply lurvee it
my voice is in there
my drum beats are in there
the whole thing is way cool
we are producing an album
that's gonna circulate around the world
and i believe it's gonna impact many many souls

ONE BEAT!! ONE SOUL!!
ONE BAND!! ONE SOUND!!
ONE BODY!! A FAMILY!!

THE MUSICIANS ARE WAY INCREDIBLE
THE SINGERS VOICES ARE MELODIOUS
STRIKEFORCE DRUM BEATS ARE IMPACTFUL
THE CONGREGATION ARE SUPERB

EVERYTHING WAS GREAT

the closing chapter of a book
be TOUCHED!!!

ehc0-c00l

Friendship

2005-04-13T00:48:00.000+08:00

have anyone asked why do we have friends
even when we don't know how it'd end?
along the way we will meet with turns and bends
but for how long can you hold your hands?

in times of troubles
who do you turn to?
when your world trembles
what do you do?

God, family and friends
we do turn to all of them
but which came first
and which was the last?

in times of needs
where do you go?
when your world sinks real deep
who do you seek?

God, family and friends
we do turn to all of them
but which came first
and which was the last?

all of us will have a different answer
by using permutation
there're 6 ways you can arrange them
so, who did you turn to first? friends?

but who are your friends
how did you get to know them?
where did you all first met?
when did this friendship started?
what did you all do together?

is there such a thing as true friends?
is there such a term as forever friends?

simple
no one's perfect on earth except for One Being
and He is Jesus
He's the most perfect friend anyone could ever find

but what about on earth?
is there anyone like Him?
no
because no one is perfect

friends do betray
friends do go astray
who doesn’t
name me a dozen

for most of us
we treat friends like pie crust
a protective layer over you
just like the crust covering the blue

can't you stand beside one another?
why stand behind your friend?

always waiting to be served
can't you serve?
always waiting to be noticed
can't you notice others?

friends are an equal
whom we can easily relate to
friends are your loved ones
that you wouldn't wanna let go

they fill your temporary emptiness
keeps you from loneliness
provides you with happiness
what more do you ask for?

once a friend

deep down i know
once the anchor is up
it's a long journey to go
a journey of love, trust and endurance

forever a friend

that is why we need Jesus
He's a Perfect Friend

and He is my friend
not only yesterday
or today
but forever till my last breath

ech0-iends

appreciating the lost

2005-04-11T20:46:00.000+08:00

i know of this girl
who don't really like her life
everything seems kinda screwed up for her
not only her results
but relationships too

she asked
do people need to be dead before their friends and families regret the lost?

there are times where she'll think to herself
what would it be like if she's not around
will her friends be happier?
will her families be happier?

what will happen if she meets with an accident
will anybody care?
who will be there?
what will be their last words?
will they regret anything?
will the person she loves knows that she loves him?

she don't know
and she wants to know
sometimes she feels that some things need to be lost
before you start treasuring what seems insignificant

sometimes it seems that she's causing all the troubles
not being able to have patience with her brother
not being able to relate to people better
not doing the right thing at the right time
and the list goes on

she really don't understand the reason why
why is she here if she makes people's lives miserable?

she do try to relate to people
somehow she wasn't able to
maybe she didn't try hard enough
but she's tired of trying

once when she quarrelled with her mum
she told her, given a choice
she would choose her brother over her
she's asked her to leave the house
she's asked her to jump out the window
she's said "i hate you" three times to her
yes, she remembers everything
do you know that hurts alot?
do you know how that feels?

she felt rejected
fancy that coming out from her mum's mouth
she wonder how long she's been feeling that way
she really felt like an idiot
maybe she's one
not good at anything
being able to achieve nothing
just taking up space and sucking off free oxygen

when given a task
she'd want to do it perfectly
know why
she doesn't like embarressment
yes, she doesn't like to be ambarressed
she doesn't like failures
she doesn't like anything that's against her will
she hates it

she would want everything to be perfect
so that it'd be pleasing
but it's a one man show
she can't work well with others
that's been a fact
since the day she stepped into primary school
wanna know what happen?
she never knew she's such a "wonderful" life till now

when she works in projects
classmates complaint to their teacher saying that she has:
attitude problem
arrogant
teacher's pet
fierce
selfish
and they simply told their teacher they don't like her
maybe she was one
but she never felt that way
no one has ever asked her for help
aint that ridiculous
you know how that feels?

she felt rejected
she was alone most of the time
no one to turn to when she's got problems
no one to talk to when she's down

secondary school
friends talk behind her back
her not knowing anything
got ignored and stuff
it's not as bad as before
but do you know how that feels?

she felt rejected

because of friends
she's been asked to see a psychiatrist
because of friends
her tears almost dried up
each time she loses a friend
uncontrollably, she'll break down and cry

it seems that whatever she does
whatever that she says seems wrong
so what's the point of living
when no one appreciates her existance
such thoughts never fails to haunt her
it's easy for them to fill her
but there's one thing that she lacks
the courage to die

if not
she would be dead by now

please appreaciate others when they are still alive
not at the deathbed crying and say
"i regret not treating you better, we could have been closer friends"

ech0-dead

you got a problem with me

2005-04-10T22:53:00.000+08:00

on the train
looking out the doorscreen
i saw nothing but darkness
nothing but shadows

my past memories suddenly flooded me
i was taken-aback
tears began to blur my vision
broke down once again

my rejections
my failures
my fears
my hates

sometimes they reminds me
of how i'm still feeling lonely
and no one sees
no one

the feeling of being left out
loneliness
the feeling of being insignificant
loneliness

emptiness fills
nothingness covers
darkness falls
i'm lost

being lonely
has always been my phobia
how idiotic can that be
i also wonder why

people whom were once close to me
now they seemed so far, out of reach
have i been chucked aside, forgotten
just like the old toys

friends have always been important to me
now
haha forget it
the ship has sunk

i realised
no one seems to understand me

people always tell me i don't take initiative
people always tell me i will never have friendships that last
people always tell me that my attitude sucks
but do you even know me

no
you don't
i don't even know myself
how would you even know me

people jugde people from what they see
people judge people from what they hear
but not everyone looks good
not everyone is good with words

i admit i'm not pretty
i admit i do have a sulky face when i don't smile
i admit i'm not really good with my words
i admit i'm not good at anything

i don't even know what i want in life
i don't even know what is my interest
i don't even know what i'm good at
i don't even know what's going on

but what's wrong with that

what's important lies in the heart
how does the heart feel
what does the heart says

but has anyone tries to hear my heartbeat

no

ech0-blem

i will say

2005-04-08T19:42:00.000+08:00

once day, in the mirror, you saw a reflection
you realise, it reminds, of your past depressions
of how you've been living in condemnation
a world filled with worldly temptations

no love, no nothing, just pure rejections

what can be done
what do you think
what can be done
what do i think

i will say
turn to God, recieve your salvation
leave the world of perversion
throw away your life of degradation
look towards a life beyond imagination

so what now
what do you think
so what now
what do i think

i will say
turn away from all corruptions
seek God with all your passion
take away all distractions
eyes on Jesus, no interuption

your life will go through a transformation

no more affliction
no more desolation
no more trepidation
after your redemption

move on to perfection

ehc0-tion

i dunno

2005-04-08T00:17:00.000+08:00

my life's messed up
my day's screwed up

what's going on

i'm confuse

everything seems to swirl around me profusely
non-stop

i dunno what to do
i dunno what i should do

what's happening
i dunno

who am i
i dunno

who do i wanna be
i dunno

what do i wanna do
i dunno

i dunno

ech0-don ask

Even When

2005-04-05T23:13:00.000+08:00

even when the skies turn grey
i will still seek Your Face
even when the ocean sinks
i will still seek Your Ways

even when the stars loses its glow
i will still seek my Vision
even when the sun loses its heat
i will still be Compassionate

even when the thunder roars
i will still hear my Calling
even when the lightning strikes
i will still be Strong

for i have a GREAT DESTINY to fulfill

God
Strengthen me for this day

ech0-even

Jesus, You are my Everything

2005-04-03T23:34:00.000+08:00

Jesus
You are my God
You are my Salvation
You are my Friend

Nothing can ever take Your place in my heart

i don't wanna hear from anyone
i don't wanna see anyone
i want to hear from You
i want to see the vision You have for me

You are my God
whom i will wholly seek after
Living by Your word
is what i wanna do for life

You are my Salvation
on the cross You died for me
You've given me eternal life
and my life i shall give to You

You are my Friend
never have You once forsaken me
even when i left You
You are always there waiting for my return

Jesus
all i want is You
You to be my everything
everything...

ech0-every

What is Life without Jesus

2005-04-01T16:27:00.000+08:00

no matter how sucky your life may seem to be
it will never be as bad as Someone
this Somone gave His life away

it's not for nothing

it's for you
for what you seem as your sucky life

He died so that you can live

appreciate your life
although sometimes things go wrong

treasure your life
although sometimes it seems worthless

think about Him who died for you
indeed He died an innocent death
He didn't have to go through it
but He chose to

so that you can live

now you know how much your life is worth?

it's worth Somebody's death

know who's that Somebody?

He is Jesus Christ

ech0-life

should i???

2005-03-30T20:33:00.000+08:00

thankz guys for the encouragement given
lurvee ya people so much
thank God for you people in my life
cos my results aint really good
and that has added on to my stress level
but anyway
i know God is with me
and i believe that He's my pillar of strength
but i'm still messe up
should i continue or should i not

ever since last year
my results haven't been very good
it's always at the bottom or super borderline
i'm really wondering if i should take my "A" levels this year
my dad has once told me to drop the idea of retaining
he said it's gonna affect my future
i know it's true
cos eventually, i'll be competing with students born in the year of dragon
which is so much more
which means that my competition with them
to get into university would be very high too
but putting that aside
what if i ain't able to do well for my A's?
it'll both a waste of time and money
the total costs of this exam is 400 plus
it's not cheap

now i really dunno what to do
i did study
maybe the wrong way
but i still did
that was why i felt discouraged
study still fail
back in secondary school
there's no problem with my study method
but when i'm in JC
everything seems so different
the teachers' teaching styles
the school's style
everything is different

right from the start
it's been a wrong choice made by me
my aggregate in secondary school have never been below 20 before
it was only during O-levels that my results are below 20
but it's only by abit
i got 18
which wasn't very good compared to those who are in JC
teachers always compare people with points
but i dont think that should be the case
know why
let me tell ya

two student
same results of 18 points
but look closely at the individual results

student A
English-C6
Maths-A1
Chinese-A1
Pure Physics-A2
Pure Chemistry-A2
Combine Humanity-C6

student B (me)
English-C5
Maths-A1
A-Maths-B3
Combine Science-B3
Combine Humanity-B3
Chinese-B3

see the difference
student A may be bad in arts(combine humanity),
but he scored in science
in JC there's only science and arts course
or commerce in MI
i'm average in all
and my science aint even pure
it's ridiculous isn't it

i did ask my secondary school teacher for opinions of what i should do
she even told me that i shouldn't go to a JC with my results
kinda true
i'm having difficulty coping now
someone help
i wanna study
but how???

ech0-lost

God...
Where are You
I need You by my side
Please hold me close to You

please.. ple..
i..i.. rea...lly.. du...n..no.. wh..at.. t..t..to.. d...do..

Bad Sad Day

2005-03-28T19:18:00.000+08:00

haiz
don't really know the reason why
feeling rather down today
got back my results in school
maths and physics mcq
well
i didn't expect myself to get below 50 marks
cos i was pretty confident after the paper
that i could do better then that
got back the paper
took a look at it
flipped through the pages
realise one thing
lots of careless
but mostly also i don really know how to do
but at least i knew some
and it secured my pass
praise the Lord for that

then later in the day
i went to look for a teacher in my school
regarding some CIP stuff
i know the rules in school
that i have to get it approved first before doing this CIP
but i didn't know that Chingay could be included
so i kinda procrastinated
went into her office
sat down in front of her
she looked fierce
the first thing she asked was
why i didn't get it approved first before doing it
and so like what any people will do
i explained to her
telling her i didn't know it could be included
that i couldn't find her
and i knew it much later that it could be included
and it goes on
she was so fierce
she scolded me for not following the school rules
and saying that i couldn't find her
and i started crying
one reason was that i was intimidated by her
another was i was embarrassed in the general office
another was i was frustrated that she doesn't seem to understand
i know it's my fault that i didn't manage to follow the rules
but i just want to make sure about it
and asked her
but it didn't turn out to be a nice conversation
however
she accepted my CIP form
PRAISE THE LORD for that
and i cried again
she told me that if she were to follow by the law
my CIP wouldn't have been approved
but it was through grace she gave me a second chance
wow
i was relieved
i cried because i was touched
and it was so embarrassing when i walked out of the GO
my eyes and nose were red

then i went back to class
it was physics lesson
sat down and we got back our MCQ paper
right, it was just as expected
to be honest
i scored the lowest in class
haiz, it's kinda sad
then my teacher went through our paper two
looking at the circumstance
i don't think i can pull through physics already
yucks

after which we had PE
it was physical training
we ran a total of 4.3Km and did 50 jumping jacks
30 sit ups and 30 push ups
super tiring
timing of my run wasn't good
gonna train up and get a better timing
and so my school days ends here

now i'm home
i just surfed through the net
blogging, friendster and msn
nothing much though
saw my friends pic
sometimes i wonder
how do people look so natural in pictures
i suck at that
always felt that i look weird in pics
that's one reason why i don really like phototaking sessions
always wanted to put it all behind me
and be normal when taking it
but somehow it's not working
haiz
hate it
i really envy people who are photogenic
they look so nice in pics
and they can just take thousands and thousands of them
without looking bad
why
hate it

i hate it when things doesn't turn out well
hate it hate it hate it
so irritating

sometimes i really wonder
what's the point of trying
when each time you try
the next thing you know
is you have failed

sigh...

ech0-raged

1st Year Anniversary

2005-03-27T23:40:00.000+08:00

Hey... it's still before twelve o'clock... i would like to take this opportunity to thank someone who have brought me to church... ASHER LIM FENG XIANG!!!! I love you man... haha.. really thankz... but before that.. i'd like to thank Joel first... cos without him.. i wouldn't have known Asher.. and i wouldn't be in this church... City Harvest... it's such a great place to be in... the POWERFUL PRAISE and WORSHIP.. GOD'S TANGIBLE PRESENCE... great PASTORs.. it's all so cool... really thankz alot guys!!!! LURVE YA!!!(that is if u came to read my blog.. haha

Everyday in my life
There lies this longing
Of wanting to be loved
But no matter how hard I try
I couldn't find a perfect groom

The feeling doesn't stay
They fade away
They change and die
And each time I'll end up hurt
Discouraged and afraid

Never wanting to fall in love again
But there was this one special day
So clearly remembered by me
it was a year ago
Exactly on this date, 27th March 2004

I found my perfect love
And He is
Jesus

The Man who died on the cross for me
Happy 1st year anniversary
I Love You
My love for you will never die
It's a promise

I want to be Your bride

ehc0-eternity

knock knock

2005-03-25T00:15:00.000+08:00

"knock knock"
"who's there?"
"it's Me, Jesus"
"oh... sorry... i'm not free at the moment
can You come again another day?"

you stood behind the door
a tear down your face
past memories of your wrong doings flooded you

feeling so ashame of yourself
you don't want Him to see you in a sorry state
and you kept the door shut

in our lifetime
we might have scars that doesn't seems to heal
no matter what you try to do
it doesn't seem to go away

but Jesus is here
He can heal your scars
what you need to do
is reach out to Him

open the door and let Him in
and He will be there just for you

ech0-knock

Believe in God for your Needs

2005-03-23T18:19:00.001+08:00

God is always looking down
on the little creations He made
He created it in such a way
that it's so pure and perfect

our world which was once so perfect
is shattered because of sins
our world which was once so pure
is corrupted because of filthy thoughts and doings

the earth was once filled with silver and gold
emerald, red ruby and other precious stones
this proves one thing
God is not against us being rich

but why?
why did people eventually become so selfish and greedy?
everyday in their mind, is only money money money
can't they think of something more important
for example their life?

all things that are on Earth
shall wholly pass away
except the Love of God
which shall live and last for aye

its the same with our treasures on earth
they will perish one day

God knows our needs

Long time ago before you were born
He created a man and named him Adam
God saw him alone
so He took a rib bone
created a woman for him, named Eve

God sees the needs in our lives
He is Jehovah Jireh our Provider
there is nothing for us to fear
if He can provide for the birds in the air
and the fishes in the sea
I'm sure God will provide your needs

if you need a financial breakthrough
pray
if you need a spiritual breakthrough
pray
if you need any kinds of breakthrough
pray
ask and it shall be done for you
have trust and faith in Him

don't allow yourself to be controlled by worldly things
for they can make you perish forever in a wink

ehc0-need

StresseD

2005-03-22T20:10:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i wrote like this.. as in... writing what happens during my day... today have been rather hectic... have been trying to complete my revision by today... but haiz... bad news... i can't and didn't manage to do it...

the whole day... i was trying to do my maths ten years series... our teacher gave us a list of questions for preparation... there's a total of 126 questions... not alot right? but all is on differentiation and integration... i was like trying to do until i wanna cry already... i couldn't do most of them... i'm superly discouraged... in the end i stopped doing and just read through my lecture notes.. hoping that it would be of help to me tomorrow.. and yes.... my test is tomorrow and i'm still blogging... stress la... no choice... have to destress abit... if not i will turn crazy... happened once.. was so stressed up that i started crying for no reason... hmmm... not right.. i cried because i wanted to destress... haha.... yea... hate it when i need to study... cause nothing goes in my head... can someone out there teach me how to study smart?? i really need a tactic... anyway... what i've mentioned above is just one subject...

i'm having two test tomorrow... maths and physics... haha... surprising huh... and i feel like slaughtering the teacher who organised this whole common test thingy.. fancy putting to subjects that have got so many formulas to memorise together... there's really lots of formulas.. and i tend to mix them up all the time... haiz... especially physics.. one letter can represent so many thing... for example.. the letter V... it can represent velocity, volume and voltage... and we use all kinds of letters.. and i'm messed up... there's U, T, S, E, I, and blah blah blah.. the letters goes on... haha... and there's a news for you... i haven't touch my physics yet.. it's not that i don't want to... i simply got no time and no mood to study... yea.. of cos it's not your fault.. i didn't say so... it's mine... of not knowing how to manage my time properly and stuff...

haiz... my chemistry paper was just yesterday... and i think i've done badly... there's a couple of questions that i don't understand and in the end i left it blank... haiz... chemistry is a total stranger to me... really need to build up a relationship with it... maybe i'll try being friend with it... maybe my grades will be better.. from there on.. then i progress and make further decisions.. haha... but i only got a few months more to go... to have a very strong relationship with it... it'd be good if i can make it to marriage.. then everything will go well.. haha.. ok... i'm starting to talk rubbish...

i'm really stressed.. although i don't look like i do.. cos i still come online and stuff... in reality... i'm running away... right?? studying seems to be no fun at all... and i'm quite afraid of it... ever since i stepped in a junior college.. i've been having difficulty passing... i'm not talking about getting "A"s yet ok... just an "E"... i've got problem getting it... i never had problems passing when i was in primary schools and secondary schools.. i've got no worries when i study... but now... all the WHAT IFs are haunting me... so far.. i've yet to pass any chemistry paper.. and yes.. that's how bad i'm doing... i've never gotten and "D"s for any subject before... excluding GP... i'm really lost... ARGH!!!!

what's wrong with me and my study technique
that makes my day seems so hectic
i wanna slow down and study smart
but why do i find it so hard

someone out there who's reading this
you should know that i sounded quiet pissed
i really need help in how to study
anyone who knows please call immediately

i'm sick of failing all my subjects
not just failing, but including my mums nags
all i ask now is at least a passing grade
cause i've been feeling rather discourage

i want to have a testimony just like that girl
i want my grades to be just like hers
i was truly inspired after her speech
but for now, just a pass is what i beseech(did i use it correctly? sounds abit weird to me)

however
i don't have to fear
for i know
He will lead me through

He is my pillar of strenght

i do believe in Miracles
i do
i do

ech0-stressed

Perfect Love for an Imperfect

2005-03-20T02:02:00.000+08:00

have you ever asked yourself
"what do you like?"
is it something that is perfect?
or something that is not?

have you ever asked yourself
"are you perfect?"
when you answered it
were you truthful?

how many times have you heard people
saying that they are perfect
how many times have you heard people
saying they that were never wrong

but the question is:
do things need to be PERFECT to be LOVED?
do we have to be PERFECT to be LOVED?
what will be your answer?

for mine is no
as deep down i know
2000 years ago
Jesus died for an imperfect person like me

Love You Jesus

ehc0-imperfect

Blessed Greatly

2005-03-19T01:24:00.000+08:00

i was once living in darkness
not knowing what is light
living in a world of unhappiness
filled with selfishness and pride

i was once living in a world unknown
all i remembered was, i am alone
living in a world that is ruined
filled with unrighteousness and sin

there was no comfort
there was no peace
but meaningless wars
that never seems to seize

there was no love
there was no warmth
but people filled coldness
and unbearable wrath

it's scary
it's lonely
it's somewhere you don't wanna be
be glad that you have been redeemed

now, my life have been filled with light
my days of darkness have gone out of sight
the Word of God is what i abide
being filled with the spirit, is my delight

Praise the Lord!!!

ehc0-blessed

Lost Sheep

2005-03-17T11:17:00.000+08:00

once
somebody asked me a question..
Who is Jesus?

I was still very young then and didn't know how to answer
i said
i don't know

But now..
I know
Now...
I understand
Who is Jesus....

I once asked Jesus
"How much do You love me?"
He didn't say anything
Then He stretched out His arms and said
"This much.."
And He died on the cross

Who is He you may ask
Whom willingly died on the cross for us
I proudly proclaim that He is God
Of whom i will always look upon

Before the world begin
You were on His mind
And every tear you cried
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power the word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
To make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done
Can make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

Come...
Even if you are the only lost sheep
He'll still wait for you to come...

Ech0-touched

Presence and Power of God

2005-03-13T21:51:00.000+08:00

God's...
Presence changes the HEART
Power changes the BODY

Presence takes hold of your BEING
Power takes hold of your SHELL

Presence deals with His WAYS
Power deals with His ACTS

Presence deals with His REVELATIONS
Power deals with His MANIFESTATIONS

Presence deals with who He IS
Power deals with what He DOES

out of PRESENCE
POWER is released

ech0-fired

__Our Heavenly Father
______always waits for our return when we leave
__________Because of ONE reason
______He LOVES you

____But I don't wanna leave
__I don't wanna walk away again
_______I wanna be in Your Presence
___Cos in Your Presence
______Is where i wanna stay
____Forever...
_______ I LOVE You too

Ech0-fired

feeling the presence

2005-03-12T01:00:00.000+08:00

i don't really know the reason why
but i've been feeling rather dry
is there anything wrong with me
or is it that i ask too much

questions have been revolving around me
and they are not normal questions that people ask
it is quite scary to think on how it could destroy me
cause someone told me it's dangerous to think of it

she told me my questions asked can destroy someone
it's either me
or the person i ask
faith is so shaken that something needs to be done

why
tell me why am i feeling this way
it does not benefit me at the end of the day
no matter how expensive the price is, i'm willing to pay
but please, show me the way

i really dunno what to do
it's been bothering me ever since my last fall
i wanna get back on the line
but questions keep burning in my mind

i know not every question have an answer
and some are best to be left unknown
someone please get me out of my curiousity
before what happened to the cat happen to me

curiousty does destroys

ech0-dry

Jesus
i wanna walk with You again
right from the start
can we?

i miss the times i had with You
i miss everything that has to do with You
i miss Your presence
it seems all gone now

i want it back
right back in me
i don't want it to be just a memory
or something that's temporary

i want this journey to be permanent and meaningful
a journey that never ends
a walk that i can remember
till the end of my days

i promise i will not let go anymore
i promise i will love You even more
persuing and desiring after You,
will be now, my first rule

i want You back in my life
can we start all over again
can we

ech0-miss

i dislike my GP teacher

2005-03-08T22:07:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i last updated
so i thought i should come and touch up abit

anyway today is tiring
no particular reason why
maybe not enough sleep
maybe the day is boring
hmmm.. i know why

i think it's because today got GP
that teacher of mine is super boring
she speaks as if the world is dead
kinda send me to a sleeping mode

attending her lesson
is like attending a funeral
nothing better to do
but just staring at her

listening to her
is like listeining to a spoiled radio
but she's worse
at least spoiled radios produce different tones of irritating sounds
she doesn't
she goes "aaaaaaaaaaaaa" so monotone

she's one weird teacher too
who needs her students to motivate her
what the hack
i don even care
cos from what i know
is the students needs to be motivated more then she needs

she's gives up so fast
and expect us to wanna learn
i wonder how this theory works
although my results does not depend on her
but i think it really depends on how much i like the subject

and what influence us towards the sub
is how we feel towards our teacher
normally we do better if we like the tutor
if this is gonna continue
i think i'll be getting shit for my General Paper(which is this friday)

and one thing she does
she goes "alright" and "alright"
almost throughout the class
and yes
it is countable

argh
couldn't stand her
she just recieved a certificate from me

this teacher of mine whom i shall not name
have recieved this prestigious award of the year
i loudly proclaim to you that you are (drumrolls)
"The MOST CMI TEACHER OF THE YEAR!"

can i call for a change of teacher

ech0-yuck

Messed Up

2005-03-05T01:03:00.000+08:00

DIFINITION OF HISTORY HERE: THE SAME SITUATION

what's going on now
once again i feel all messed up
someone tell me what's going on
why history has to repeat itself

i'm confuse
and dunno what to do
it always seems to be the same case
but yet different each time

it's like a time bomb to me
it goes tick tock tick tock....KABOOM

i hate it when it revolves around my life
i hate it when it repeats
i hate it when it explodes without warning
i hate it when it crushes me

like an accident that occur in me
living a scar that's often so deep
when is it ever gonna heal
if history keeps repeating on it's own

Ech0-meSSed

Boulevard of Shattered Dreams

2005-03-03T16:03:00.000+08:00

locked in a space of my own
shut out from people and the world
i see nothing
i hear nothing
darkness and silence
engulfed me

i walked alone in the empty street
on this boulevard of shattered dreams
the only thing i saw
was my shadow and me
the only thing i heard
was my irregular heartbeat

standing at the edge
on the verge of falling
i wonder when will my senses
be set free

i shouted
i screamed
i cried
there was no reply

i was alone
alone...

i shouted
i screamed
i cried
still there was no reply

i was alone
alone...

where is everyone else?
where is the love?

Ech0-LoNe

Locked in Me

2005-03-03T15:27:00.000+08:00

Friends in my heart
Forever you'll be
No entrance
No escape

Locked and guarded
Trust is the key

Never gonna forget
The memories you've created

Forever engraved
Deeply in me

Ech0-eNds

Miss Ya GuyS So MuCh

2005-02-28T21:04:00.000+08:00

well.. today is the last day of febuary... wanna leave the date in my blog.. haha... now is 10.41pm at night.. eyes are kinda heavy already... drooping.. haha... dunno what to write also... ran out of things to say... too tired to think of anything.. school today is kinda boring... dunno what to do sia... haha... after a series of tutorials and lectures... had P.E. lessons.. argh... and it rained.. and the teacher ask us to continue playing... then after that still got remedial.. until 7... haha... in air con room somemore... so cold. brrr... my mind is still empty at the moment...

i'm like thinking... if CHINGAY is still not over.. i'd still be at kallang practicing... haha... maybe on the way home already... i really miss the trainings man.. here goes:

When there was training
I kept complaining
Now that it's over
Missing it is how i'm feeling

The movements
The drumbeats
The bases and flyers

The trainings
The late nights
The supper and fellowship

The determination
The perserverance
The attitude and patience

Through this trainings
I've found new friendships
Through this trainings
The bonds are strenghten

My time spent have been all worthwhile
As it has never been dull

Dedicated to StUNts.. haha... thankz guys... with you guys around... my time spent there was vibrantly coloured... laughters and tears... it's so fun... i really miss it alot... thankz alot... especially Angel.. if u didn't choose me to be in stunts.. don't think i'd know any of you.. and i dont think i'd enjoy the practices.. it's because of u people that i look forward to every trainings and practices... Love Ya guys so much... *Muackz* and *Huggies*...

Ech0-stunTs

School Starts

2005-02-25T21:32:00.000+08:00

Up comes the sun and the morning ray
Shining through my window in this brand new day
Picking myself up on the bed i sat
Looking at the clock reading what it said

It's seven in the morning time to get up
But i'm still tired and want a back rub
Can i not go school today
But no choice, i can't have it my way

Off to school in my father's car
A school that's near but yet so far
Into the gate i enter i saw my school
Feeling so tired, so dreadful

First lesson was GP
Followed by Chemistry
Both are my worst subjects
Yet they are things i cannot reject

Afterwhich i had assembly
The talk was on Time Management
It was so boring that i could sleep
But i can't cos my teacher would see

Sad day in school right? so boring.. haiz...
just joking.. school aint that bad today la...

Ech0-HuaSted

I wanna know...

2005-02-23T00:09:00.000+08:00

Lord
Tell me if he is for me
What and how issit gonna be
Tell me now, straight and direct
I don't want my feelings to be crapped

Should i remain or should i go
How long should i wait for the answer to show
I'm curious and i wanna know
What is my future that You hold

Softly in my ears
You can whisper to me
Or through my dreams
You can let me see

Tell me now
Tell me today
Now
Today

Ech0-tell

CHINGAY

2005-02-19T12:05:00.000+08:00

Today's the BiG DaY for Us StRIKeForCE PeoPLe!!! Haha... WOW.. i'm so excited today... NOw am at my friends place.. plaiting my hair.. haha.. how ar... i'm super nervous lor... haiz.. yesterday was kinda bad... didn't manage to get up the first time.. then also didn't manage to open the container that contain the paper bits.. then the second time also.. wasn't on time.. haha... haiz.. hopefully silently i pray that today would be so much better then yesterday... I believe!!!! Can ONE!!! I BELIEVE!!!

TOday's the ImpoRtaNT DaY
THat's WhaT eVEryONe sAy
I pRaY ThaT EvEryOnE wiLL GivE iN TheIR BesT
AnD We wiLL BeAt ALL thE REsT

GoiNG DOwN ThE RoaD of OrcHard
PerFormIng To The eaGeR CrOWd
StOmPiNg wItH ouR MoveS AnD sTunTs
StUmPiNG THeM wiTh ExCiTemEnt And FuN

All ThE waY STRIKEFORCE!!!!

STUNTS PEOPLE!!! RAWK THEM DOWN!!!

LOVE YA ALL!!!

Ech0-ciTed

HAiz...

2005-02-15T00:43:00.000+08:00

well.. dunno why... my internal nose bleed is back again.. think got not enuff sleep.. yawnz.. and ya it's 12.44am now.. just reach home not long ago from my practice... this friday and saturday got CHINGAY... Come down and support us ya? we'd love to have you there although it'd be super duper cramped and squeezy... haha...well.. till now.. the thing i feel is not perfected yet too.. argh!!! the timing is kinda rush and everything seems to be in a rush... The going up.. the exchanging of tonfas and shakers and blah blah blah... haiz... why ar... can't we just do it perfectly? and now got another thing to ponder... the glitters.. how are we gonna take it with us with all the movements and how to make it special... we're gonna like carry so many things lor... haiz... then moving from stations to stations carrying those stuff... weird... and kinda obstruct our movements.. really dunno what to do man.. left with only two more practices... very fast one lor.. although ya.. when it's over it's over.. but i wan it to be good... to be able to impact people and let them feel the difference between other performances and ours...God!!! I need IDEAS... Help me... Argh!!! i wanna believe that after all the effort, the sweat and the time put in this thing, we will be perfect and succeed... dun wan things to go wrong and stuff.. i wanna believe in that... please make it happen... please... i'm really tired already... please make it happen... hard tight perfect... things please dun go wrong...

ARGH!!!

2005-02-13T11:32:00.000+08:00

Haiz.. last night slept at 4 just to finish the Valentine's day card for my cell group guys... Still haven finish lor.. Now still doing.. haiz... dunno whether can finish on time anot.. So tired now.. work up at 9.30am to do housework before my mum comes home.. once she's home.. it's OH NO!!! She's gonna nag like mad bout how dirty is the house and how we didn't take care of the house and blah blah blah... YAWNZ... TIRED!!! and later still have training... ARGH!!!! turning crazy soon... 4 more trainings to Chingay... Really hope everything will work out fine... and good and perfect... hopefully... silently i pray...

Ech0-blah

Love?

2005-02-13T00:11:00.000+08:00

Today i woke up late.. and in the end was late for some visiting... Then i reach my friend's place at around 12.15... and not knowing that the girl i'm visiting next is home.. i waited at her void deck of 45mins before the rest of my cell members came... haiz...sad right? second time some more.. yesterday the same thing happen... well.. but it's over now... after that we went over to my cell leader's home.. wow.. i tell you.. going there is like going shopping.. she wanted to give away her clothes.. and most are new... wow.. haha.. i took a black top and two pairs of jeans... at that time is around 4pm and i left... cos have to go down to kallang... have practice from 6 till 11pm.. very long right.. tired ar.. took cabbie back home.. the movements are still not really done yet lor.. haiz... very scared cannot complete it perfectly tml.. somemore tml have to show Bro Tan Boon the moves and everything... But until today.. most of us are still unsure and not tight.. ARGH!!! going crazy man... Midst of breaking down soon.. And Valentines' day is coming.. The stunts guys are so So sO sweet... they bought us girls Sunflowers.. wow.. Honestly.. this is the first time i recieve something on valentines day from a guy.. though it's friends.. but ya.. First time.. cool... now it's hanging by my table.. gonna make it dry... haha... hmm.. then dunno why.. my past starts to emerge.. kinda remind me of what happen last valentine.. not really nice though.. haha.. but yep.. it's over.. shouldn't be brooding over it anymore.. anyway it's like so long ago.. but i'm missing my valentine's day... haha.. really want one day to have it perfect...

Why do love exist when it brings pain
After each rejection my heart would rain
Even after struggling in vain
Nothing's gained

Is it really worth to cry
I really wonder why

I always ask God
What is called Heaven's divined
Who can i call mine
From where can i find
When will our hearts combine

Ech0-in

Loneliness

2005-02-11T21:36:00.000+08:00

I sat that waiting for you
But where were you
You did not turn up
And you didn't tell me

I quietly waited and waited
But there was still no response
I tried my best not to upset you
But things always seems to turn out wrong

Correct me
Tell me
Don't keep me in the dark
It gets lonely

Really lonely...

Ech0-LoneLy

Second Day of New year

2005-02-11T01:40:00.000+08:00

Surprisingly i'm not really tired... haha.. Last night i reached home at 5 am... In the end slept for less then 6 hours and my father woke me up at 10am... I ponder what to wear and stuff and wasted like an hour plus... went for lunch at Jurong at around 1pm.. Then at around 2pm went over to my Aunt's place at Novena.. Haha... I'm super hardworking ok... I brought my homework there to do leh... People enjoying themselves i there doing homework... wahahaha.. First time ar... then i do do do do... Do until i finish... Then at 6.30pm... set off to Novena MRT station to go meet my friends...

I...
Went out with a bunch of FrIenDs
It was fun but it has come to an EnD
Went for dinner at SummEr SpOOn
The drink i ordered tasted like PrUnE
Afterwhich we went for a MoVIe
What we watched was CoNsTaNtiNe
It is kinda GrOsS anD HoRrIbLe
But overall it is still WaTchAbLe
After watching we went for SuPpEr
The place is called The Cafe Crossinoeur(dunno how to spell)
Ordered a sandwich with MuShRoOm AnD ChICkEn
And a drink, Mocha VaNi
It is nice ThOUgh
But the prise of them is my FoE
Haha....

Ech0-yAwnz

Happy Chinese New Year

2005-02-10T05:10:00.000+08:00

Alright... Today is the second day of New Year... Now is 5AM in the morning and i just reach home... Very late right? Haha... Yea.. And in 6 hours time i've to be at my aunts place... And after 12 hours... I'll be meeting my CoOL BunCh Of FrIenDs... Afterwhich, 6 hours after meeting my friends... I need to be in school... Haiz.. So tiring....

Another thing is where is the New YeaR atMoSpHere??? I feel nothing... Nothing special... So sad... It's kinda boring too...

Can't wait for meet ups and stuff...

I'm sitting by my room window
With the breeze blowing against my face
Brrr.. So cold

I'm Looking out into the darkness
Thinking of the next day
Of how I can
Make it better

It's been so boring
It's been so energy-less
Aint there anything exciting
That we can do?

BoRinG!!!

Ech0-boRed

Squeezed!

2005-02-08T01:44:00.000+08:00

Today is a superly tiring day... Even in the morning.. The lectures and tutorials... I'm like stoning away... Not understanding at all what the teacher and lecturers are trying to impart into me... Haha... Was really stoning and day dreaming... Which is my part time hobby... Haiz... I think i'm finished... Common tests are coming up and i'm still playing and not studying... Kinda stressful though... Now with the Chingay stuff and Chinese New Year coming up... Everything seems to clash together...

Anyway... Today suck... I was such a complete idiot... ArGh!!! Can we turn back the clock??? Haiz... Felt real bad now... Sorry guys... I know somehow it'll affect some of you... But i really didn't mean it... Sorry... I know my attitude kinda suck just now... haiz... didn't expect myself to swing that badly... Sorry guys...

Life and Time
Squeezed out like a Lemon
Although it's sour
But it'll be sweet for me

Ech0-tired

I believe

2005-02-07T01:31:00.000+08:00

I know...
The time now is very Rough
And going through it is pretty Tough
But no matter What
Please do not Give Up

I believe...
With God as our Guide
Everything's gonna be Alright
Don't despair and trust in Him
And our troubles will be dim

I believe...
God's strength is Sufficient for us
Set off into the future and away with the Past
And He will be with us to the very Last

I believe...

Ech0-LiEvE

Friends

2005-02-06T11:18:00.000+08:00

Yo!!! Today i didn't go to church cause it's my DaRLinG DaDdY's BiRthday!!!! I Love him sO so So much... Without him... I wouldn't be who i am today... He's such a loving daddy... haha... Well... Now is only morning... Dunno what to do also... I feel so bad... I didn't made him or buy him anything... ArGh!!!! ShiKes... Anyway... Later at night got StRiKeFoRce... Heard from my Contact Head that there will be changes here and there again... Haiz... haha... And another thing is... The stunts people have yet to come up with new moves... Argh!!! How long is this gonna take???

New year is coming and i definitely am looking forward to it... All the money... Wearing new clothes and going from one house to another... It's also a reunion time with oLD BuDdIEs... PanG PanG!!! I MisS ALL of YOu man... Because of church and cell and strikforce... I disappoint them again and again by not turning up for their birthday celebrations... I'm so SoRrY guys... But i dare not promise anything yet... For this week and after is a busy week for me... haiz... So sAdz... BoOhOo... soBz Sobz... Got difficulty arranging my time... Well.. But what's important lies in the heart ya?? Although I seldom see you all... You are still deep inside my heart... Wow... Touched??? haha....

Although you are people i seldom see
But in my heart, you are often miss
Deep down inside, how i wish
That there will be a day, we could meet

Although you are people i seldom hear
But i know, i don't have to fear
Even when you are far away from here
For friends are known, to be near

Although you are people i seldom feel
But i know my heart is always sealed
With a relationship that no one can steal
A friendship that is deeply instilled

I LoVe YoU GUys....*()MuaCkZz()*

Ech0-SeNSe

Love Equals Pain?

2005-02-06T01:33:00.000+08:00

Why must Love exist when it brings about Pain?

I know He Loves me
But am i worth the Pain?

Ech0-OuCh

Depression

2005-02-04T22:46:00.000+08:00

I am...
Falling into DEPRESSION
Struggling with DESPERATION
Breaking out in PERSPIRATION
Losing all my CONCENTRATION

So I am now...
Trying with DETERMINATION
Without any DISTRACTION
Analysing this SITUATION
Searching for a SOLUTION

But I want to know...
Is this an ILLUSION
Affecting my life's DESTINATION
Lord my SALVATION
Get me out from this POSITION

Ech0-TION

Right beside me

2005-02-03T17:52:00.000+08:00

It was You who brought me out from tiredness
Letting me
Without complaints
Rest in Your arms again

Each time i'm alone
You never fail to show
How i will never be
Alone anymore

You showed me the Light
When i'm in Darkness
You showed me the way
When i'm lost

But I don't have to worry
For right beside me
Is You

I Love You

Ech0